Meltdown

Yesterday I had a MAJOR meltdown! I say major because when my husband came home last night he said he had been worried about me......you have to know my husband,..he doesn't worry, so, I figure I must have rattled him. I didn't intend to do that but it happened. A number of things have happened since we came home from Bermuda.....some little, some not so little...and they all decided to culminate yesterday morning......I really can't go into too many details....have to protect the innocent(guilty) you know....but yesterday I told my husband that I was done.....he said done...what do you mean by done....I said, done being a mom....after 33 years I know longer wanted to be a mom.....ZAP.....(that's the lightening bolt striking)...I've always been a little parenoid about making statements like that, no matter how I felt , (you know the whole Job in the Bible scenario!). Yesterday, I didn't care...I had had it, couldn't do it anymore.

I quickly packed up my quilt...I just have to get it done this week..the wedding is on Saturday....grabbed my van keyes and purse and left. Of course, I called to Ben to watch the dogs (my dogs would tear the place apart if not watched at all times!)

Now, I didn't go far.....just to the drugstore to pick up a prescription and some new Tylenol (long story), stopped at the local Tim Hortons for a tea biscuit and peach drink, and then ended up at my mom's house. Mom was by herself cause dad was at dialysis, so we had a nice visit....me, quilting, while we chatted. It kind of reminded me of those 'Frances' books that Leslie loved when she was little....Frances said she was going to run away, so her mother packed her some cookies and she did run away....I believe it was to under the dining room table (if my memory serves me correctly)!

I came back at the end of the afternoon, the child that had been the (straw that broke the camels back) had gone to a friends', so it was just me and two of the kids. We had a quiet evening, Don was teaching, (he teaches every night this week....except Friday.....), my sister came over for a cup of tea......and that was it...meltdown over.......

I'm still not sure I want to be a mom anymore......but as my eldest pointed out,...than I wouldn't have the grandbabies...............................................................................................oh, my.