Friday, May 25, 2012

adventures!

Good Morning Company Girls....and a lovely morning it is here in southern Ontario....the sun is shining, a gentle breeze is blowing...the kids have been off to school for awhile so the house is very quiet....just me and the dogs, who are lying sleeping at my feet...I hear the mourning doves making their 'hooing' noise outside and a Canada geese flock chattering away in the distance as they fly up to the pond under the escarpment....yes, so far it's a peaceful morning...but then again it's only 8 a.m.!

Last I spoke to you I was in Florida, waiting on hubby working his last morning at the office there before we headed back up to Canada late in the afternoon....we got to the airport quite early...we had to check out by one-thirty...we went to the Hollywood beach and walked along the cobbled pathway til we came to a restaurant that appealed to both of us and we sat outside and had a sandwich before we continued on to the airport....it was one of those time situations...not enough time to drive anywhere else and do anything but a little too early to go to the airport....but it started raining at the beach so off to the airport we went. We were pleased that the security line up wasn't long at all and we waltzed right through quite speedily....take off the shoes, take off the jacket, take out the iPad and put it in a separate bin....put the carry on case in another bin....walk towards the metal detector...the unsmiling, bored TSA agent looked at me and with a flick of his finger, motioned towards the full body scan,..I scooted closer to him and indicated with my bent hands and arms that I can't lift them over my head so he allowed me just to do the walk thru of the older scans....back on the other side..gather your belongings, get your shoes on...get your jacket, put the iPad away...stow the passport and boarding pass back in the case....done and done...til we get home...or so I thot......

after we found our gate and made ourselves comfortable....hubby went for a walk, while i guarded our belongings (which you are always reminded to do, right...never leave them unattended the recording is always telling you...but you choose to block out after the umpteenth time of hearing it) and when he came back, I followed suit........i meandered around for awhile....the flight from Ft. Lauderdale to La Guardia was the longer leg of our journey so I thot walking around would be a good thing to do....I was in one of the shops, directly across the aisle from the security screening, when I noticed a kerfluffle going on...some big guy in a suit was talking on a phone to someone and saying about a substance being released in the area....didn't know if it was tear gas or pepper spray, but he was advising somebody that some TSA workers were having respiratory problems...I did hear someone, coughing up a lung somewhere close by....

so, I went back to hubby and said..I think there's something going on in the security area, and relayed what I had heard....we didn't think much more about it til at least a half and hour later this high pitched noise starts repeatedly going off...everyone is looking at each other wondering what the pete is going on...the TSA person behind the check in counter starts telling everybody to evacuate...some people started moving and others just looked at her and ignored her...several security people then showed up and said get out, head to an exit...so we did...herding off like a bunch of cattle, down the wide hallway...not really knowing where we were going...a sheriff came along and herded us to a different exit...while doing so, another TSA person comes along, pushing someone in a wheel chair, and is telling everyone to cover their mouths....good grief...this was getting serious....hubby and I became separated in the crowd which caused me some angst...it happens so easily when your toe to heel with so many people trying to escape...

it turns out that we were being sent to an exit, which was a gate...where the airplanes come in...down on the tarmac....there we waited for two hours....nobody could really tell us what was going on...when they finally let us back in the terminal, it was long past our flight time...which we weren't too worried about because our flight hadn't been allowed to leave....unfortunately, because they let us back in thru the baggage claim area , they said we'd have to be security screened again before we could go to our gate..

this time there were hundreds of people, converging on this one little security area...they brought more TSA people in to handle the load....but there it is...go thru it all again...shoes, jacket, iPad, metal detector...put everything back on..hurry to our gate...get on the waiting plane.....three hours late from our original departure time....

we were glad to get on the plane and get going....unfortunately, our connecting flight at La Guardia for Buffalo had already left...when we arrived in New York...wow, the lights at 11 p.m., flying in low over the top of the city were amazing!.....when we deplaned...well, New York wasn't so amazing....well, the terminal we were at, anyways.....everything was closed up, tighter than a drum...the gate keeper said we were booked on a flight for the next afternoon...AFTERNOON!....it was 11 p.m.!....I asked if there was anything sooner (it was a holiday weekend in Canada last weekend and our van was sitting in a car dealership in Oakville, (about a half hours drive from our house....our house is about an hour and a bit drive from Buffalo airport)...it had been having work done on it while we were away and if we didn't get it on Saturday than we wouldn't get it til the following Tuesday, after the holiday! Good grief....so...the agent got us on an 8:45a.m. flight the next morning....meanwhile, all the hotels close to the airport were booked up...they could have put us at a not so nice sounding hotel by JFK airport, and then rerouted us departing from JFK in the morning...but hubby decided we should just stay at the airport....

Thus started the night of the longest night ever.....we were sent down to baggage claim to get our checked piece..trouble is, once you leave arrival/departure..which was nicer than baggage claim...you can't go back...til you GO THRU SECURITY AGAIN...which of course was all closed up for the night....my suitcase wasn't in baggage claim...course not...it was going to Buffalo! So we were stuck in baggage claim...it was not a nice place...the carpets were dirty, the walls bare, the cushions on the chairs, which were few, were split and some taped over, they had metal handrails between each seat area, so you couldn't even lie down...there weren't even any vending machines, so you couldn't even get a chocolate bar, a bag of chips or something to drink...hubby and i hadn't had anything to eat since lunch time..and no promise of food or even water til the next morning...now, myself...I can stand to lose a few pounds but hubby hasn't been well...he's been losing weight this past month and really couldn't afford to lose more....

Do you know that even though NOBODY but a handful of us, who were stranded in La Guardia there, in the baggage claim area...that they still have those stupid recordings going off at timed intervals telling you to watch your bags..or the other one was to be careful about which bag you picked up off the carousel because so many bags look alike...ALL NIGHT LONG...so even if you were able to contort your body on the difficult chairs to get any rest....well, the recordings woke you with a jolt...they're REALLY loud when the terminal is empty...and the terminal also gets very cold when there aren't a lot of people around to warm it up...

Around 4 a.m., I went for another walk...this one to try and get warm thru movement...I went up on the floor above, where the check in was...I saw a TSA guy by the closed up security area and asked...'when does the security area open'? He said around 4:30...so I quickly went down...got hubby,...gathered up our stuff and we got in line for another security check. Security check meant arrivals/departures lounge, security check meant food and water...per chance a cup of tea,,,,

went thru security again...you know the drill....and then sat and waited for the food services to open at 5 a.m. We didn't need fast food McDonalds at this point so we went to one of the restaurants...a little pricey but justified that it was supper and breakfast and enjoyed it....

After that we went to our gate and hubby dozed til it was time to board....
I'm not a big Buffalo fan but I was very glad to see it come into view from the plane...we quickly got my checked bag, which I was thrilled had made it to Buffalo...(it had my quilt in that I had been working on!)....found our car in the parking area and quickly drove over the border...all the way to Oakville (going past our house to do so) picked up our van...headed home...and collapsed....I don't think we left the surface of our bed all afternoon....

It was an adventure to remember, that's for sure!

On the home front...Maya started college this past week...I think I told you...it's a 6 month course for a personal support worker....so far it's been quite hectic for her....leaving at 6:15am to catch the bus...school all morning, taking the bus home, going to work at the coffee shop til 9 and 10 pm....long days...good thing she's young!

Emma's still saying she's pregnant, so maybe she really is...

Hubby's test results came back and the ultrasound showed Inflammatory bowel disease...not nice but at least you can work with it...next is a cat scan scheduled to get a better look I guess...after a month of him being sick, I will admit that we're kind of relieved to have some kind of diagnosis...

So, that's been what's happening in our life at the moment....take care...and have a good weekend!

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Friday, May 18, 2012

Be still....

Good Morning Company Girls!

Just inside the front door, of my house, is a plaque.....on it are the words 'Be still....and know that I am'

To anyone with any Christian background you automatically finish it....'be still and know that I am God.....

I was reminded of this again this week, as my world went on another tilt...again.....

Hubby and I went on a little jaunt to Florida this week....we are scheduled to fly
Home this evening....hubby's work company has an office down
Here and thy wanted him to come and teach them something....some pricing thing that he created years ago that they think is pretty good....when hubby found out that he had to go he said 'you're coming, you need a break'....so, for the last two days I've sat in a hotel room and quilted and read....watched a little tv, the weather hasn't really been conducive to sitting out...overcast, rain, thunder, lightening....so, it's been a different break, but a break nonetheless, and I am grateful.

Back to the tilting.....it's Emma...before we left home, she hinted at the fact that she may be pregnant....while down here ,she claims to have taken 'the test' and that it was positive. Quite frankly, I don't entirely believe her,....the cynical side of me thinks that it could be a huge welfare scam....but...if she is....if she is, then I have serious concerns about the welfare of an unborn babe in the care of Emma. Emma has thoroughly enjoyed her life since she left our home almost 7 months ago....she's become a part of a whole world out there that I could only compare to biblical accounts of Sodom and Gomorrah....yes, you get the picture....this is the life she wanted to experience...living in our home was boring...there was a life out there and she was determined to have it...so we had to let her go.

But...a baby, a little unborn babe that didn't make that choice...that is the rub...where
Do you put yourself when it comes to this life, .....

It's a tragedy really,....I remember when we found out that our first grandchild was coming we rejoiced...there was happiness, there was joyful expectation.....the normal reaction to the knowledge that your first grandchild was coming.....and with all the subsequent grandchildren, except for one, it was the same....excitement, jubilation....the one exception was when our son Corey's girlfriend became pregnant, there was also concern and angst as my son wanted an abortion....he knew he couldn't handle being a father...and he was right, about the bing a father, that is, not the abortion...but thankfully the abortion didn't take place and our grandson was born.

Every child deserves to be welcomed, to have people excited that they are born, to have all the normal reactions of joy and expectation at their birth. It's not the child's fault, it's the irresponsible behavior of the parents....they have no idea of the life that they have signed on for because you never stop being a parent, no matter how old your child becomes, or how irresponsible they are in their choices.

Maybe it's because I've experienced so much out of the 'normal' in parenting our nine children, and fostering close to twenty others.....is that why I feel a calmness...is that why when my kids do these things I don't feel angry and rejected....I realize that they have a free will....that these are THEIR choices , not mine...and getting angry and upset will not change it....Emma has made an irresponsible decision here and unfortunately it will affect an innocent life. She doesn't see this right now, she doesn't see the magnitude of this decision....we do because we've lived with the irresponsible decisions in our home in the form of our children for many years....no child deserves that...no child deserves that kind of angst in their life that follows them into adult life, and that no man can ever completely erase.

That is my greatest concern today...this life...if there is a new one....but even if it's not in Emma, unfortunately there are many others out there to take it's place.....other children who are thrust into this world without comfort and security....

I have to remind myself of the plaque in my living room....

Be still.......relax, pause...

And know......turn toward Me..

That I am God....your refuge and strength, your ever present help in time of trouble, your fortress and deliverer....

I may have to remind myself of this every day, every moment...when my world is on a tilt.....

Be still...and know.....that I am.


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Monday, May 7, 2012

Two years ago...


Two years ago...I was in Chicago, hubby had a pricing conference there..we had driven down three days previous. I love Chicago....eldest daughter went to college there, so for five years we regularly went there...I remember when she graduated and moved back home, being somewhat disappointed that I didn't know when I'd ever get back to Chicago. Hubby had arranged that we'd spend a couple of nights in a hotel in the heart of Chicago, (the conference itself was at a hotel by the airport) to finish off our little get away.....every day I was in contact with my sister at home...you see, my dad had been in the hospital for six weeks....he went in due to a complication from his diabetes, ended up contracting several nasty hospital bacterias...Norwalk, C dificile, VRE, the one caused him to have a heart attack....but everyone encouraged me to go....even my dad....he seemed to be slowly gaining the week I was away....until the day the conference was over...we had just moved from one hotel to the other and were out walking down those wonderful streets by the river...when the first text from my sister came....dad was having some problems...by the third or fourth text, hubby and I had decided that we'd leave first thing in the morning....by early evening, it was too late...I wordlessly handed my phone to hubby, with trembling running thru me ,when the final text came thru from sister...'call me' .

When you're a little girl, you develop a different attachment to your dad than you do your mom. When I was little, I went thru many surgeries.....surgeries that had to take place at Sick Children's hospital in Toronto.....about an hour and a half drive from home. I remember well my dad, working every morning, then taking his holidays to take the afternoons to drive to Toronto every day, so him and my mom could see me....he only got two weeks holidays every year...but he willingly gave them up...for me...

My dad would sit and help me with my homework...he was the one who came when I was sick, in the night...and he was the one who told me from his hospital bed 'you have amazed your mom and me by all that you do'....i was so pleased....praise was not often given in our family...

A girl develops her security thru her dad....I see it in my daughters with my hubby....the last three weeks my hubby has been very ill...my daughters have all reacted differently to seeing their dad not his usual self...but I know that they look to him for their security too....when they were younger, two of them needed surgery and each time they chose their dad to walk them into the operating room...to hold their hand til they were put to sleep....hubby was never one of those warm cuddly dads when the kids were growing up (except when they were babies, he LOVES the babies and would sit and rock them in the middle of the night)....he would fall asleep holding them, they would cuddle into his soft chest and belly and be content...but as they were growing, they would lock horns...each and everyone of them....hubby likes things done a certain way ( he's an accountant!) kids never cared about doing things in a certain way......so, one would be surprised that the kids would turn to him for their security in times of uncertainty....but they did...and when he's been sick these last few weeks, I've seen that look in their eyes, that uncertainty, that slight tremble of panic that says...he can't be sick...he's dad!

When my dad left me, two years ago today...of course I wasn't the only one he left...I don't want to sound self centered here,...but it was a day of despair...not that he was in heaven...oh no, I knew that it was so much better for him...after all he'd been in terrible pain for a number of years, his dialysis wasn't working very well, he was tired and worn out...now he was walking in heaven without a twinge...he was chatting with loved ones gone before, he was walking with Jesus. No, I wasn't sorry he was there, but I was in despair that he wasn't here....I still miss him terribly...not a day goes by that I don't look heavenward...I say, 'hi dad'.....and when the trials and tribulations of this world cause me to say to myself...oh dad, I'll be so glad when I see you again and you look at me and say...'hi Marie, I've been waiting for you, I've missed you too.' Oh, what a beautiful day that will be.


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