Friday, September 12, 2014

The Rollercoaster

So, since we buried little Trinity, I've kind of taken a step back from Emma and all her drama....I did try and take her to an appointment this past Monday to get her broken arm, when she didn't answer her door after many times of knocking, and waiting down in her lobby for an hour...I left.

Waited for her to contact me....she finally did, briefly on Wednesday night....

Yesterday, was suppose to be a nice day. My sister and I were going to check out this dress store in Hamilton for a dress for son Paul's wedding...yes, the hunt is on. We didn't have any success at this particular store, which was located uptown in the city. We decided that we'd try this hamburger place that everyone raves about.....

Just sat down there and ordered our drinks when my phone rang. It was daughter Maya, at home....the police had called our house looking for me because Emma's boyfriend had been arrested and she wanted me to come...

Sister and I thot we should go, so we told the waitress there was a family emergency and left. Maya called the police were bring Emma to our house....good grief and glory be.....there goes the neighbourhood ....not one but two police cars out front of my house in broad daylight! Bet that set the tongues a waggin'!

Sister and I arrived home....Emma wasn't forthcoming with very much info which bugged me....the cops just dumped her and her wheel chair ( which the boyfriend stole from the hospital) at my house and I didn't know what the heck was going on.

Of course, hubby was teaching and missed all the fun.

Then two women showed up from Victim Services ...they talked to Emma for about an hour...tried to get her to go to the shelter and not home, but in the end she refused and insisted that she goes home.

So, I took her.....meanwhile having pieced together that her and boyfriend went to the local mall , they got into an argument, he started becoming physical, beating on her, a girl in a wheelchair, so the cops were called and they hauled him off to jail for the night. They said there'd be a restraining order on him but I highly doubt that'll stop him from coming around.

Hubby came to her apartment on the way home from class...we both tried to talk to her...she just became hysterical, saying she needed to talk to a counsellor cause they know how to talk to people.

We left.

She left with us to go to the apartment below her where she knew she could get some weed. She needed something to help her sleep, she said.

Ya, this is our life.....don't ya love it?

~ Marie

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Somewhere Safe......

So, much has happened since I last wrote.....summer has turned into fall, not officially of course , but when you've had kids going off to school in September for thirty-five years, there is a certain mindset that summer has come to a conclusion on Labour Day weekend and school has begun. I've wondered, from time to time, if when we no longer have anyone going off to school the Tuesday after Labour Day whether I'll feel the you change it to the 22nd of September and hold onto those last few weeks of summer? Probably not......

This past summer, we built a new room downstairs....I use the word 'we' loosely as we didn't do the exact construction.....yes, hubby and I worked for weeks, sorting and purging and packing up the left overs to cart off to a storage locker. We needed to have everything cleared our in that area, the remaining area that didn't house bedrooms, bathroom , pantry, storage room, furnace and laundry....yes, you may have guessed that the remaining area wasn't huge in square footage, but we were desperate.....

You see, for the last ten years, at least , we've had a television in our bedroom....not very romantic you say...well, I suppose..( yes, I've read the articles ) but necessary.....the 'in house kids', ( as I call them) had taken over the living room and since they were all developmentally delayed to some degree, their television programming was....shall we say...somewhat immature and repetitive......if we wanted to watch any of our programs in the evening, you either sent them to their rooms which caused whining and wailing and gnashing of teeth...or you chose something that everyone could watch....which given the comprehension level of said in house kids, wasn't easy!

Our bedroom isn't large...not like you see on those Reno shows on tv, just enough space for a bed, two dressers, an occasional chair( that usually houses stuff that you can't find a place for, and a small cabinet that houses cd's, the cable box and the tv on top! Hubby and I must resort to watching tv while sitting on our bed....when you're a kid that's not difficult, in your twenties and thirties, well, okay....but get up in the 40, 50 and 60's......oh my, doesn't make for a comfortable evening! Since we've come to the conclusion that our in house kids, are never 'leaving the nest'.....( no available group home housing spaces) occurred to me that in ten years I'll be in my seventies ( yes, the horror of it all) and do I really want to be dealing with stiff and sore bones and numb derrière and lower back pain in our 70's and 80's!...I mean We still will but hopefully not from just watching tv!

So, the idea of a lounge, downstairs, in the remaining small space was born! Eldest son Ryan came down for the week....he demolished, he measured, he put up was a full week, to be sure.....hubby and Maya primed and painted......we moved the upstairs tv and cable box, the Wii game system , and DVDs downstairs.....we went to Ikea and purchased three occasional chairs and ottomans ....and voila! The Lounge was ready for the tv watching and game playing enjoyment of three young adults!

And.....hubby and I got our living room back......and it's been wonderful.

As in my last post, things were going okay.....we were helping Emma with the preparations for her baby coming, she moved out of the shelter and into her own apartment. Unfortunately, her abusive, gang involved boyfriend moved in with her. August 12th, dawned beautiful and indication of the horror that would occur that day when Emma for whatever reason, that hubby and I figure we'll never know, fell from the ninth floor balcony, that's 90'.....and at 29 weeks, our wee grand daughter could not survive such an impact, and moments after she was born via emergency c-section....she died....

Two weeks later we buried her in a tiny little plot in the same cemetery that my dad is buried in. It was a short service, attended by few.....the minister, now retired, that dedicated Emma all those years ago, came and said a few words , and it was done.

I stopped at her spot yesterday, I have to drive by the cemetery whenever I go into the next town...which is often.....I found tears running down my cheeks as I stared at this small rectangle of broken grass.....I found myself apologizing to her,....I'm her nana, I should have protected her....but I couldn't.....but now she was somewhere safe, somewhere that no one could hurt her ever again.

A lot of people like the fall season....I do not, I never have....I dislike Halloween, Thanksgiving is nice but a ton of work, and as I said before...I'm getting older....
The last two fall and winter season have brought us a terrible time with Maya and her emotional breakdowns.....we are praying and hoping that this season will be better, will be different but it's kind of like waiting for the other shoe to drop......

Hubby has three, yes three , evening teaching courses this term...which goes up til Christmas every week he's gone from 7 in the morning til anywhere between 9-10 in the evening, for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday . These are particularity long days....filled with in house kids bickering, complaining and disobeying.....and apprehension of whether Maya will become ill again.
There are appointments ....doctors, dentists and social workers ( Maya is seeing one that can hopefully help her some coping skills to handle stress.

There is trying to find the time to get back up north to our trailer, to close it up for the winter, take down the tent and close up that season again til it re opens next May.

Second daughter, Lauren bought a sweet , wee pup last Sunday....the cutest little thing you ever saw....part Maltese, part Yorkshire terrier.....he's about the size of the end of the paw of one of my dogs! ...but he is, I'm NOT getting any ideas....

So, Fall may be special and wonderful to some people but for myself, no.
I enjoy the fall colours but after they disappear everything is just so barren and sad looking.....and then the snow will come...worse then last year they say...good grief.

There are things to look forward to though.....a new grand baby is due in January...we are very excited to welcome this new little son or daughter ( everyone is hoping daughter) to eldest son Ryan and wife Jennifer ....they have two beautiful boys but would dearly love to have a girl.....we shall see!

Then next May , number three son Paul is planning on marrying lovely should be a special occasion filled with family, friends and laughter and joy!

So, yes....some good things to look forward to...I think I should hang my hat on those and try to pull myself out of these doldrums!

After all, fall and winter can't last forever ( it'll only seem that way in the midst if it!) and we can remind ourselves to be grateful for each day, whether difficult or good.....

~ Marie