Saturday, November 12, 2011


Today is my sixty-first birthday.....that sounds so very old....but I really don't feel that old, in my heart...but my body has a completely different age! My body feels old as it struggles to keep up...for instance, yesterday I did the vacuuming ....something I've done prit near all my mom started me doing it when I was around ten...the living room had to be thoroughly cleaned every Saturday....that was my cleaning the bathroom...there was just one small one...for six of did we ever survive....anyways..back to yesterday....I knew we were going away overnite, and I knew that I didn't want to come home today and do it on my there I was, yesterday afternoon...vacuuming. It's a job that takes a good the time you do the floors and then the carpets. When I was done, I was fatigued, very warm and in need of a sit down and a cup of cool water. Years ago, I would have gone on to do the dusting, tidy everything and leave the room sparkling...then move on to the next job! Alas, life is different...something's you have to accept....the cleaning will still be there tomorrow.. the risk of sounding maudlin ....I imagine if the good lord gives me a full life that this means I'm about 3/4's thru.....just thinking back on my life...just what have I accomplished in my own little quiet corner of the world...hmmmm..... It does give one pause to stop and reflect....if I had things to do over what , if anything, would I have done differently...or, on the other hand, is there any point to thinking that or do we just look forward, with purpose and choose just how we would like the remaining 1/4 to pan out?

Things to think about as I ponder the day and anticipate a lovely lunch at an old mill with my hubby....have a lovely day!

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Today is Emma's eighteenth birthday. Truth be told I've been waiting for this day for 90 weeks.... It was around that time that Emma became very difficult if not impossible to live with....someone with some legalease told us that she could do as she wanted basically but we were legally responsible for her actions until she was 18.

Today her birthday is bittersweet because 12 days ago Emma forced our hand and we took her into the shelter in the city to live. My only experience with shelters up to this point had been what i'd seen on t.v. ,......big huge rooms with cots set up.....this shelter is very different. It's run by Good Shepherd ministries....a local organization and it's specifically for youth. The building is a huge house and Emma must share a room with a couple of other girls. They provide food, laundry facilities, television and computers in a library. They even have a curfew.

In the last week that Emma lived with us, we had two meetings with the mental health clinician at the shelter...Emma the meetings we agreed to give her a do over for her curfew...this clinician had two weeks previously set up a curfew schedule of 4 days at 8:30 pm, ( like the police had suggested after she had stayed out all night) and then the 5th night it would be 10 pm. In the following two weeks she never was able to accomplish that and many times she also came home reeking of cigarettes and pot. The day we all agreed to the do over Emma returned home at 11:45pm....obviously she had no intention of doing the do over. The week went downhill from there resulting with me packing her stuff and hubby taking her in to the shelter. Of course she was furious with us...but she went, refusing to speak. I don't think she really thot we'd actually go thru with it. Anyways, she's there....and as I said, it's bittersweet because this is her eighteenth...a birthday that all teens just wait for...( although in actuality I guess 19 might be more important in Ontario because that is the legal drinking age).....I feel somewhat sad this morning, thinking that we really can't have a proper birthday celebration.

Yesterday morning I called into the shelter to see how she was doing...I talked to a support worker and except for going AWOL two nights last week she's been coming in on time and no major behavior problems. Of course they're not aware that she's been stealing clothes from a local store like I know, or that she's been drinking and doing drugs....and 'having relations'......but I know, a mother finds out these things, a mother knows...I knew when my other kids were doing it and I know when Emma is.....I know. It saddens my heart to know that she is systematically destroying herself. The shelter is trying to get her into a youth home that is a little more like home...but they don't have a female spot yet.

The shelter people must have suggested that she call me....and surprise, surprise...she did...we spoke briefly, I asked if she had plans for her birthday. She said no...I asked if she'd like to go out for some supper...she said yes. I was surprised that she agreed....although the cynical side of me wonders if she'll stand me up...just to 'teach me a lesson'.....

I don't know how things are going to end up for Emma, I pray that she starts making some good choices...that she gets off this 'suicide' mission.

I pray that she has a Happy Birthday.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Have you met my son, the doctor?

Once again, haven't posted for a few weeks but I was determined to post with good here it is!

This is my eldest son, Ryan....tomorrow he is scheduled to graduate with his doctorate in theology ...... Dr. Ryan Wettlaufer....isn't that fabulous! After about 15 years of post secondary education...he's finally done!

It has been a very long the beginning hubby and I, and some of our kids drove Ryan and his best friend James, out to Briarcrest College, in Sakatchewan to begin 4 years of schooling for his B.A., then we drove him to a little town outside of Boston, to work on his M.A. At Gordon Conwell, two years after that he got married and started his work on his Ph.D. at a college affiliated with the university of Toronto, back up here in Canada....if nothing else our kids get us traveling!

The last number of years have been very long....for Ryan...for his wife Jennifer...and for the rest of us , his family, as we have supported, encouraged and prayed that he would have the success and endurance to finish the race. Over the years Ryan has had to take many different jobs to support his family, to provide for them, especially as it grew to include William and Samuel, their sons. Right now he's been working with a local contractor, building houses...he's learned so much....I don't think there's anything that he can't build or fix...just a couple of weekends ago hubby and Ryan went to our trailer and ripped up the rotten flooring and replaced it with new. Now I know that hubby is capable but his strength is in numbers...he is an accountant...but knowing he had his son beside him to help with the job gave him the confidence to get the job done...and they did a great job!

There have been many times I have felt great pride in all my children...whether it be graduations from high school,college, or the military, or overcoming a difficult life experience....all the different aspects of their lives that have shaped them into the people they are today.....people that we are glad to say....'ya, they're our kids....ya, we were crazy to have nine of them...but we couldn't imagine what our life would have been like without them'......well, maybe a little quieter and without as much drama....

But tomorrow, it's Ryan's day....he's worked hard and long for it.....we are not only proud of his academic accomplishments but we are proud of the man he has become....a husband, a father, a carpenter (just like his papa), ....and a good son.

Well done.....we will watch with joy in our hearts and probably tears running down our cheeks as you walk across the stage tomorrow to claim your prize.....well done!

The pic above is him modeling his cap and gown that he must wear true mother fashion, I told him that he'd better shave tomorrow!