Friday, May 18, 2012

Be still....

Good Morning Company Girls!

Just inside the front door, of my house, is a plaque.....on it are the words 'Be still....and know that I am'

To anyone with any Christian background you automatically finish it....'be still and know that I am God.....

I was reminded of this again this week, as my world went on another tilt...again.....

Hubby and I went on a little jaunt to Florida this week....we are scheduled to fly
Home this evening....hubby's work company has an office down
Here and thy wanted him to come and teach them something....some pricing thing that he created years ago that they think is pretty good....when hubby found out that he had to go he said 'you're coming, you need a break'....so, for the last two days I've sat in a hotel room and quilted and read....watched a little tv, the weather hasn't really been conducive to sitting out...overcast, rain, thunder, lightening....so, it's been a different break, but a break nonetheless, and I am grateful.

Back to the tilting.....it's Emma...before we left home, she hinted at the fact that she may be pregnant....while down here ,she claims to have taken 'the test' and that it was positive. Quite frankly, I don't entirely believe her,....the cynical side of me thinks that it could be a huge welfare scam....but...if she is....if she is, then I have serious concerns about the welfare of an unborn babe in the care of Emma. Emma has thoroughly enjoyed her life since she left our home almost 7 months ago....she's become a part of a whole world out there that I could only compare to biblical accounts of Sodom and Gomorrah....yes, you get the picture....this is the life she wanted to experience...living in our home was boring...there was a life out there and she was determined to have it...so we had to let her go.

But...a baby, a little unborn babe that didn't make that choice...that is the rub...where
Do you put yourself when it comes to this life, .....

It's a tragedy really,....I remember when we found out that our first grandchild was coming we rejoiced...there was happiness, there was joyful expectation.....the normal reaction to the knowledge that your first grandchild was coming.....and with all the subsequent grandchildren, except for one, it was the same....excitement, jubilation....the one exception was when our son Corey's girlfriend became pregnant, there was also concern and angst as my son wanted an abortion....he knew he couldn't handle being a father...and he was right, about the bing a father, that is, not the abortion...but thankfully the abortion didn't take place and our grandson was born.

Every child deserves to be welcomed, to have people excited that they are born, to have all the normal reactions of joy and expectation at their birth. It's not the child's fault, it's the irresponsible behavior of the parents....they have no idea of the life that they have signed on for because you never stop being a parent, no matter how old your child becomes, or how irresponsible they are in their choices.

Maybe it's because I've experienced so much out of the 'normal' in parenting our nine children, and fostering close to twenty others.....is that why I feel a calmness...is that why when my kids do these things I don't feel angry and rejected....I realize that they have a free will....that these are THEIR choices , not mine...and getting angry and upset will not change it....Emma has made an irresponsible decision here and unfortunately it will affect an innocent life. She doesn't see this right now, she doesn't see the magnitude of this decision....we do because we've lived with the irresponsible decisions in our home in the form of our children for many years....no child deserves that...no child deserves that kind of angst in their life that follows them into adult life, and that no man can ever completely erase.

That is my greatest concern today...this life...if there is a new one....but even if it's not in Emma, unfortunately there are many others out there to take it's place.....other children who are thrust into this world without comfort and security....

I have to remind myself of the plaque in my living room....

Be still.......relax, pause...

And know......turn toward Me..

That I am God....your refuge and strength, your ever present help in time of trouble, your fortress and deliverer....

I may have to remind myself of this every day, every moment...when my world is on a tilt.....

Be still...and know.....that I am.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

5 comments:

Diane said...

((hugs)) As you say, it's especially difficult when someone's irresonsibility affects an innocent. God is truly our refuge, and He has even this in His hands.

Ashley Pichea said...

Sometimes being still in the midst of chaos and/or tragedy is the hardest thing to do - we want to "fix" the situation, when in reality only He can control the outcome. Praying peace for you!

Erin Perry said...

Wow! What a tough week. I think it is fantastic that you are a foster parent, what a testimony!

happymcfamily said...

Prayers for you to be successful in your stillness and knowing.

joyceandnorm said...

I'm so glad that you are (more or less) at peace with the situation, knowing that you can trust in God to work out His plans. And He will work out His plans in all of this.