The wicked witch of the west is circling......

So, it looks like Emma is finally going to get to go to Canada's Wonderland tomorrow....you know, the trip that she was supposed to have last Monday....the trouble is...I couldn't be very happy for her......Emma was scamming me again....

The girlfirend that Emma was going with tomorrow called and left a message for Emma to call.....it was URGENT!!!!!....so, stupid me......'you'd better call her Emma..she said it was urgent'....so she does.....'mom....she says her mom has to pick me up tonight at my bedtime 'cause she has errands to do on the way to Wonderland tomorrow'....reluctantly, I say yes because I was trying to be co-operative! Emma has a sneaky grin on her face.....aha...somethings up...sure enough,...a few minutes later, it was...'her mom is out doing things today and it might be as late as bedtime but it might be a little earlier'.....another little sneaky grin.......well, bedtime was at 2:30 in the afternoon......I was not impressed!

I'm afraid Miss Emma has cooked her goose! This girlifriend has not been a good influence on Emma and it's only getting worse! Time to play the part of the big, mean mother.....which I hate playing, really I do....but, it has to be done and I'm ticked off enough to be up for the challenge!

Look out Emma! Enjoy yourself tomorrow because your comeuppance is just around the corner!

Dishwashing Memories.....

When I was five years old, I washed the supper dishes for the very first time....I was so excited that I couldn't wait to do it the next time! That started many years of my sister and I doing dishes together....sometimes we had fun, sometimes we bickered....she could always sit on the counter top and dry at the same time, I never could ....sounds hokey but sometimes we even sang our way through getting the job done. Fast forward fifty some odd years later and I hear my kids doing dishes....by hand.......our dishwasher died! I went to put it on one evening and it made a terrible noise, so I quickly shut it off....the next day, hubby says 'try another cycle'...so dutiful wife,..does.
It wouldn't even fill up with water this time and when I opened the door a smoke like wafting came out!.....Help!
So, it was quite interesting when I told my kids that they were actually going to have to dishes ...by hand....
I was sitting in the living room, desperately trying to get this quilt done by the weekend and listening.....listening to silence.....I think they were in shock...I was finding it kind of amusing...and then....
'there's something on that', 'do it again'...'no, there isn't, I washed it'....'well, do it again',.........Mom!.......'Ben, do it again, it isn't clean'..........grumble, grumble, grumble........

Memories,.....I could remember two girls, years ago....making the same comments......I must admit I smiled to myself...the good old days.....

Maybe it's a good thing that it'll probably be a week before we can possibly get a new dishwasher installed.....maybe it's time for some different memories to be made!

Meltdown

Yesterday I had a MAJOR meltdown! I say major because when my husband came home last night he said he had been worried about me......you have to know my husband,..he doesn't worry, so, I figure I must have rattled him. I didn't intend to do that but it happened. A number of things have happened since we came home from Bermuda.....some little, some not so little...and they all decided to culminate yesterday morning......I really can't go into too many details....have to protect the innocent(guilty) you know....but yesterday I told my husband that I was done.....he said done...what do you mean by done....I said, done being a mom....after 33 years I know longer wanted to be a mom.....ZAP.....(that's the lightening bolt striking)...I've always been a little parenoid about making statements like that, no matter how I felt , (you know the whole Job in the Bible scenario!). Yesterday, I didn't care...I had had it, couldn't do it anymore.

I quickly packed up my quilt...I just have to get it done this week..the wedding is on Saturday....grabbed my van keyes and purse and left. Of course, I called to Ben to watch the dogs (my dogs would tear the place apart if not watched at all times!)

Now, I didn't go far.....just to the drugstore to pick up a prescription and some new Tylenol (long story), stopped at the local Tim Hortons for a tea biscuit and peach drink, and then ended up at my mom's house. Mom was by herself cause dad was at dialysis, so we had a nice visit....me, quilting, while we chatted. It kind of reminded me of those 'Frances' books that Leslie loved when she was little....Frances said she was going to run away, so her mother packed her some cookies and she did run away....I believe it was to under the dining room table (if my memory serves me correctly)!

I came back at the end of the afternoon, the child that had been the (straw that broke the camels back) had gone to a friends', so it was just me and two of the kids. We had a quiet evening, Don was teaching, (he teaches every night this week....except Friday.....), my sister came over for a cup of tea......and that was it...meltdown over.......

I'm still not sure I want to be a mom anymore......but as my eldest pointed out,...than I wouldn't have the grandbabies...............................................................................................oh, my.

Poor Emma

Several weeks ago I got scammed by my daughter!.....this is the daughter who has the friend that gave me trouble for not letting daughter Emma do anything....so I was kind of guilted into letting Emma go to Canada's Wonderland....a big theme park, an hour and a half or so from here. It wasn't until a couple of weeks after we agreed ,that it came out that we were suppose to pay for the ticket...well, I was royally ticked off.....not only couldn't we afford that but we couldn't afford to do the same for all the kids......so it wouldn't be fair just to do it for her. Well, I tried to figure something else and I think I mentioned in a previous post that I made up a list of unusual chores that would have a monetary value that would add up to the cost of the ticket. So, for the last few weeks Emma's been doing all sorts of things that normally I couldn't even convince her to do even if I was dying! She cleaned out the fridge, washed down the patio doors, washed quite a few dishes, cleaned out a closet....and other things I can't think of at the moment.
For the last few days we've been getting the day by day countdown,...she's been making copious lists, she's had her clothes layed out that she was going to wear for at least three days, she spent the time this evening giving herself a manicure w/fresh nail polish and talked about not getting to sleep tonight because she was so excited.
About 9:30 this evening she called her friend to confirm what time they'd pick her up in the morning. Girlfriend said, 'I'll call you back'. Awhile later she did....they'd been checking the weather,....it's suppose to rain,....they need to postpone. Girlfriend's mom doesn't get another day off til next Monday.......Emma is devastated.....tears, wailing,..anger....the whole nine yards....she wanted me to call the mother and convince her to go.....I couldn't.....

Poor Emma.....I really felt badly for her......she'd worked so hard and for so long.....other kids take these kind of outings for granted....not my kids,..they usually don't get special treats like that, so for them it's a big deal.

Poor Emma...I sure hope next Monday is good weather.

Sharing

As I sit here thinking about how fast my life has got back to normal (whatever normal is)....it's really hard to believe that just a few days ago I woke up in sunny Bermuda....there is something very refreshing about getting away for a few days....getting away from the whining and the bickering......and enjoying the quiet. In my everyday life, quiet is a rare commodity....but as we sat outside the room, on our patio and stared at the turquoise ocean....there it was...quiet...tranquility....

Don't get me wrong...there are certain noisiness..is there such a word....that I relish....like the laughter of my grandchildren, the chatter of all my kids when we have a family dinner,...the cheering at Maya's basketball game when she gets a three pointer, listening to our church band play a reallybeautiful selection that has different parts that rise up in a fabulous crescendo, a certain Simon/Garfunkel song played at full blast...gotta love the bass trombone!,....or just playing any music very loud when you're in a good mood and feel like 'jivin' (now I'm really dating myself!) around the house........

but you can't beat the quiet,...cause in the quiet, you hear the voice of God ever so softly saying...Do you like it...isn't beautiful...isn't it magnificent....I made it to enjoy...but I'll share it with you......the ocean is beautiful, especially in Bermuda.....Lord willing, we'll get to go back again (don't worry Ryan...we wont ask you to babysit again...poor Ryan, I think he's been traumatized for life,...he couldn't wait to get home!)

Oh, well....I'm sure he'll survive......he's young.....he just acts old!


Thanks for sharing! I'll just have to look for the quiet a bit harder back in the normal!!

Reality!

Well, we're back....back to reality........a very long day of travel and we finally return home. Our oldest son has definitely got to know his siblings better.....I'm not so sure that has been a good thing! Up until this point Ryan's interaction with his younger sibs has been quite limited....the only contact has been the odd weekend visit with a lot of family around to run interference. Apparently, Ben even caused a new problem....that involved Children's Aid! Emma tried to stay up half the night and then missed the bus and Maya tried to get some exercise by walking to school when she got mad at Ryan and left the house in a huff! Of course, there was Megan who tried to convince Ryan that she was sick.....many times.....and also tried to convince him that her class was going to be away a day earlier than I had told Ryan and that she should stay home from school! All in all, I think it was a very enlightening week for Ryan, getting to know his younger sibs and it was good for the younger kids to get to know their big brother! I'm sure he'll never agree to do it again.......just as I'm sure that we wont get to go away again for a very long , long time!

Bermuda doesn't have shopping on Sunday!

Well, halfway through our holiday....and all is well...for the moment...it's Sunday afternoon and all the stores are closed....since we haven't experienced that for a number of years in Canada it does seem a little strange but rather peaceful. Tomorrow is a holiday...one of the Queen's many birthdays apparently...so the stores are closed that day also.....(inside doing a small panic)...there are a lot of souvenirs to be found and purchased and it looks like only one day to do it......good grief...how do I get myself into these messes......the trouble is a lot of our children are royally ticked off with us for going away,...so if we don't at least show up with something......well...I don't think I really want to go there.....
Today is my daughter Leslie and her husband James' wedding anniversary...and ours is tomorrow....it usually works out okay because we can swap babysitting back and forth but alas we're not there to do our turn...I did tell Les that we'd do it when we got home, if she didn't find someone to take our place.......I do miss my grandbabies.....
A big Happy Father's Day to my dad today!

Bermuda!

Beautiful sunny Bermuda! Turquiose water, white sand, smiling, friendly people.......bliss.....

My husband and I arrived here around midday today....after getting up at 3:30 a.m. to get over to the airport by 4:30 a.m., then two flights and we made it! After a forty-five minute drive, we arrived at Willowbank......some things have changed in the last ten tears but some things are just the same. There is a comfort in sameness but some of the modern changes are quite nice too.

I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow,...I'm sure hubby has some sightseeing in mind.....me ...I'd be happy to just veg.....read my book,do some of my quilting,...yes, I brought my quilt to work on,....it's a gift for a couple that are marrying at the end of the month....it would be nice to get it done....but I wont spend too much time on it...after all....it's Bermuda!

Air...beautiful, cool air....

Air Conditioning! You either love it and are forever grateful to the person that invented it or you can take it or leave it.......I'm one of the grateful ones. Many years ago, when we lived in a two storey house, without air conditioning, my husband surprised me by bringing home a window air conditioner......he explained that he really didn't enjoy coming home every night to see his wife draped over the furniture,not being able to function in the heat. I was thrilled and so my gratefulness began.
When we moved to this house, we still didn't have 'central' air conditioning but still continued to use our trusty window air conditioner plus strategically placed fans around the house to move the cool air around. Then we had to put in a new furnace and for a small amount extra we decided to put in central air.....oh happy days! We've been very pleased with this air conditioning for a number of years now, I think there was only once that we needed the Freon topped up for optimal coolness......until a couple of weeks ago when the furnace man came to clean the furnace....and he accidently nicked the AC, as he put it...another man came and fixed it and I will admit when we started into this heat wave, last Friday, it was working just fine!

Until this morning.
My husband gets up and checks the thermostat...he comes into to me and says...I don't think the air is working.....WHAT!!!!!!!! That woke me up!
He's put a call in, of course,to the lovely repair men, who, of course, have about fifty million house calls before us........I am not impressed.....I am warm......(mother always said that young ladies were never 'hot')....very warm......

To top it all off...on the first day of the heat wave, last Friday, I had to drive for about a half hour to spend an exhorbitant amount of money to get my hair cut, (I've tried other cheaper places but my hair always looks dumb after the first few weeks)......I turned the air on in my van....just driving along,.......feeling HOT air.....quickly checked to see if I had the dial wrong...no, it was on the blue side, not the red, ...the air conditioning light was lit......and the air was hot!!!!! Put in a call to hubby who quickly came up with the solution...'we'll have to get that fixed tomorrow'...meanwhile the rest of the day, I drove around with the windows all down....ruining my very expensive hair do, and ending up with a dandy sinus headache! A banner day!

I really do enjoy air conditioning....I just don't know why they both have to keel over at the same time........I think the Lord might be trying to get me used to the heat before I go to Bermuda. I always thought He had a sense of humour!

Lists...too many lists!

Monday again! It just keeps coming around! I'm looking forward, once again to a quiet morn since I did have fifteen for a pre-summer bar-b-que yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm also starting into the countdown to going away for a few days holiday, with my hubby to celebrate our 35th anniversary. I procrastinate in getting ready to go away. I know that I have to get ready,...and I do, quietly, on the side do little things to get ready.......like yesterday I bought sunscreen to take with me! I think, subconciously, it has to do with my anxiety level.....I'm always excited to go away, but internally my system starts doing some kind of upset that's truly annoying! So, if I procrastinate then I hopefully put off that internal feeling.......unfortunately, since we're suppose to leave on Thursday, and I have a ton of things to do....my internal mixmaster is on high!

One of the things I have to do today is come up with a list! I spoke in my last post about getting blasted by my fourteen year olds friend. I had to say no to a little get together that they had planned this weekend but reminded them that they did have their really big plans in two weeks to go to Canada's Wonderland....big amusement park in our area...that, of course, costs a lot to go to! It wasn't a problem because I thought that Emma was going as their guest....yesterday, I found out differently....talk about being backed in a corner!!!! This 'friend' already thinks that I'm the next worst thing since Atilla the Hun, 'always spoiling Emma's fun', and all.....the biggest problem is that ALL my kids would love to go to Wonderland....how can we pay for one and then say to the others that we can't pay for them? Even though they're not invited, I just know that it would come up....so, onto plan B......a list! I come up with an unbelievable list of chores that I set a monetary value to,...that she has to do to my EXACT specifications....she's excited,....I'm wondering just what I have gotten myself into!

It's so nice to be a mom.....

Well, I just got blasted on MSM by my 14 year olds girlfriend. Apparently, they had made plans to sleepover at the girlfriend's house and I interfered with their plans. I've never been blasted by another teen that wasn't my own before...it was an unsettling experience. Little does this teen realize that she just confirmed in my mind just WHY I don't want my daughter to spend time with her. She said she'd been wanting to say these things to me for quite some time.

I wish Ronalee were still alive..she always read my blog and she'd get a hoot out of this!

Anger and Despair....

Some time ago, one of my teens discovered the 'on demand' feature on our local television cable. My husband and I had a cow but she assured us that she was only accessing the 'free' kid stuff. We also wondered why we suddenly had this 'on demand' stuff....we were sure we hadn't ordered it, so a phone call was made to the cable company. We were reassured that this was just a feature they had added to everyones cable at no charge. So, we really didn't think anything more about it....the one teen that seemed to use it to watch non-stop runs of her favourite teen shows was enjoying the freedom of seeing her favourite shows, and we 'thought' that that was as far as it went...........until we got our cable bill in yesterday's mail...........'somebody' had ordered three movies......three movies!!!!!!!...it gets worse....these movies cost $10.49 each!!!!!!! and it gets worse.......but to fill in....we immediately grilled 'the teen' about what 'she' had done...she denied it...we were sceptical...then we looked at the date....it was the day that new little grandbaby had been born.......no one had been here all day...except for one teen........Ben had wanted to go to school that day instead of going to the birth........they were going on a special school trip....he didn't want to miss it.......then he came home to an empty house, we were all at the birth......
Let me tell you about Ben.....Ben's birth parents were both developmentally delayed plus his mother drank alcohol and did drugs while pregnant...so, as the saying goes...'you do the math'...Ben is a six year old in the body of a seventeen year old young man......Ben ordered three 'adult' -(use your imagination) movies......I was in despair, I was angry.....angry that he had done this, in despair that these pornographic images were now in his damaged brain, angry that these movies had been played on my t.v., in my living room, in my house..(I felt like I needed to disinfect everything), in despair because Ben gave me this blank, 'deer in the headlights' look when I told him that I couldn't give him the money for his next school trip because I have a $35 dollar charge on my cable bill that I now have to pay....he doesn't see what he did wrong....that's the sad part........
.......the only good thing in this whole mess is that Ben actually was able to figure out how to do these 'technical' things on the t.v,....normally you would be pleased that a kid that still needs someone else to comb his hair for him would be able to do something technical like that.....unfortunately, you can't celebrate it.
So, today we call the cable company and see about getting the 'on demand' stuff off the cable.....teen that likes watching her 'free' shows is going to be angry but even though we have told Ben that from now on he can't watch t.v. when we aren't home - how can you reasonably monitor that- and even though we've told him that he can't use the 'on demand' stuff any more, even the free stuff.......we know he'll do it again, if it's available to him....once the exposure to pornography has happened, they will go back to it......

Whatever happened to 'Leave It To Beaver', 'My Three Sons', 'the Donna Read show'......programs you didn't have to be careful about your kids watching when you couldn't be around.......

Pyjamas!

Well, my eldest daughter has been doing a little work on my blog....first of all she put a link (to her own blog) that gives the meaning to 'and if not', that I take very personally because it's a constant reminder to me that no matter what tribulation I go through that I never want to give up my faith in God. They say when you have tribulation that it either sends you away from God or brings you closer. Well, I'm a weakling, so I'd prefer to stay as close as possible....God is SO much stronger that I.
The other thing she did was to put the actual music on for the 'Safely Home' lyrics, so that you can hear it too....what a smart girl...now, I just have to get her to show me how to put pictures on,...just to make the blog a little more interesting!
There's the thing....with nine children, you certainly have a lot of gifts and talents to draw on when you need some help!....of course, I'm not forgetting the two 'in-law' kids who more than contribute their share to my life....I'm indeed fortunate....it is definitely NOT a boring life!
If you want to know anything about anything, just ask my oldest son...he's a wealth of information (and even when he doesn't know, he makes it sound like he does!), next son could teach you anything about stealing , drugs; dealing or growing, jail......need I go on......next daughter just finished a year at college and now I can get free makeovers....bonus, especially when you have forty people coming to your house and your mind is definitely not on how you look! Number three son...well, he's the soldier, so he can take a rifle apart and put it back together, in no time flat...in the dark (always wanted to know that!) plus he could survive in the outdoors forever.....I'll stop right now cause this blog would go on forever if I went through all the kids!...I'll mention the rest later......

Today, my plan is to go to the memorial service of my friend Ronalee....it should be an interesting service....her husband has requested that everybody come in pajamas, since his wife loved to hang out in her pyjamas....apparently, all the time.....I think that if she were here, she'd be saying....well darlin', of course I enjoy my pyjamas but not to a funeral! Like a lot of husbands though, she's not here to set him straight...so....apparently, a lot of people will be doing just that....wont be me....I'm much too old...and believe me...nobody wants to see my pyjamas....even my husband complains about how old they are!
Laughing aside, (which Ronalee also did a lot of)....please remember the Allen family today and especially little Eli , still in the hospital, probably wondering where his mama is, and wondering why she isn't here to hold him.

Mondays......

I really do enjoy Monday mornings....sounds very weird, I know...especially since I look forward to the weekends so much....that's probably because I get to see my hubby a bit more than during the week..(that all started when we were going together..he lived so far away that we could only see each other on the weekends....so I was always looking forward to the weekends and I find that I still do!)
Unless I've foolishly booked an appointment, Mondays are like the calm after the storm....Sundays are very noisy and boisterous at our house......I love it when all my family comes home....yesterday was no exception.....my mother-in-law, who hasn't seen her new great grandbaby yet..called to see if we were at home and if the baby was here (which, of course she was) before she drove the 1-1/2 hours from her place to ours.....then second oldest daughter had already been texting with son-in-law to see what is for supper.....so she called to see if there was room for two more.....I quickly dispatched hubby to the store to buy more potatoes and I told the master carver (my son-in-law) to pray, before he carved, over the roast, I had hurredly put into the slow cooker that morning before I left for church) so that there would be enough to go around for everyone.........Fourteen of us sat around the table while Honour and then Verity said grace....Jairus usually takes his turn but was being cantankerous and refused this time....good times, good food (so they said), and good conversation (although Lauren thought too much at times!)..........................so, that brings us to Monday mornings.......quiet....very quiet.....I don't even have music on......there's something comforting about the quiet.......it's a time of regrouping, of having your thoughts lining up in your head, in order.........calm.........

Ya, Monday mornings are a good thing, as Martha says........

Safely Home

Listen (wait)

Children, precious children. I know you're shaken,
A loved one taken.
O but hear me. Come, draw near me,
Their pain is passed now.
They rest at last now, safely home.

They are strong and free. They are safe with me.

This life is nearly shadow.
Today there's sorrow, but joy tomorrow.
Safely Home.

They are strong and free. They are safe with me.

One day you will join them, all together, this time forever.
Safely Home, safely Home.




For Shawn, Breezy, Josiah, Mykalie, Olivia and wee Elias, in the hospital.........