Thursday, April 1, 2010

Changes

Good Morning Company Girls!



This picture of my mom and dad was taken this past Christmas. They are in their mid eighties and have been going through some difficult times lately....and that means, as their children, we've been going through the difficult times too. My mom has dementia....anyone that has experienced a loved one with this condition will understand the frustration and heartache that this condition brings for the person with the disease and the family who must interact with her. She's very aware of everything that is going on around her to the point of even being somewhat irrational in her comprehension of her actual living situation. Her homemaking skills have deteriorated and when we tried to get homemaking help in for her she became angry..she would get up early to get all the work done so that she could tell the homemaker that there was nothing for her to do. She caused more than one microwave fire at home and at the dialysis unit that my dad must visit during the week. Everything she cooked was usually burnt. She still feels that she's doing just fine. Up until this week she steadfastly refused to consider moving into a retirement home.....it's caused a lot of friction between her and my dad...they've been married for 66 years. What changed her mind? Well, my dad has many physical problems....renal failure, diabetes, lymphoma, ulcerated colitis, and glaucoma...to name a few! One of the side effects of the ulcerated colitis is not being able to leave the bathroom.....if you get what I mean....my poor dad started with this last Saturday and by Tuesday it still hadn't let up...he missed his dialysis...never good...his doctor decided to admit him to the hospital.....
The first night, that my dad was in the hospital, my mom, in her dementia stupor declared that dad could go to the retirement home...she never would....now, even though you know that it's the dementia talking, it still wounds, it still upsets.....
...the next morning, when my sister called my mom to see how she had fared, on her own..(we didn't like leaving her, in her condition, but she insisted...and when mom insists you can't convince her otherwise)...my mother stated that she thought that they needed to move into the retirement home, that dad needed it....glory be....just 20 minutes before my sister called to tell me this I had been having my morning devotions and praying that God would change my mom's heart....we had been trying to for weeks......and now this...she finally agreed...reluctantly, she still doesn't like it...but she agreed.
So, now it's going through the process, the medical forms and such....getting stuff packed...although, they're small rooms so they wont be able to take much...it's going to be an emotional few weeks to be sure...I'm also sure that it wont end there..it'll take a while for them (especially my mom) to adjust......
....oh, if you want to say a few extra prayers our way...my hubby's car died last night....completely..it would cost at least twice as much as it's worth to fix it...just when you think thinks are going okay...isn't always the way?....So, we have to find another one...which will probably involve a trip to the local bank, ...I just love loans...they give you something to work on don't you think?
Please have a wonderful Easter...this morning, I woke up to the words from a very old hymn going around in my head...I know I haven't sung it in at least 20 years......maybe you know it.....
' In times like these, you need a Saviour,
In times like these, you need an anchor,
Be very sure, be very sure,
Your anchor holds and grips the solid Rock'
I think the Lord reminded me of this, this morning....He knew I'd need the reminding.....this Rock is Jesus, yes He's the one..the only one.....be very sure.
The Lord is Risen.....He is risen indeed!

9 comments:

joyceandnorm said...

So glad to hear that your mom have agreed to this. I'm sure it will be somewhat of a relief to know that there will be no more microwave fires, so you can sleep a little better at night. Hope it will be a smooth transition for everyone involved.

Alicia said...

Oh, prayers for your family. That is hard. I'm glad your mom has finally become willing. How sweet that she and your dad have been married for so long. I pray that their last years are full and sweet, even with all the health problems. :)

One More Equals Four said...

Well, prayer answered! Yay! I know it will be a tough adjustment but I know it will be best! My husband's grandmother had to be placed in a home not long ago but now she is really happy and doing MUCH better!

So sorry about your husband's car. I understand. For us it has been endless plumbing and AC problems! I guess it is God's way of keeping our eyes fixed on Him!

Have a blessed Easter!

Stephenie said...

I'm glad that your mom agreed to head to the retirement home. I'm sure it will be an adjustment, but things are headed in the right direction. Happy Easter!

Melinda said...

He is risen indeed!

Prayers for a blessed Easter and that the transition will be smooth for your family.

MrsJenB said...

I'm sorry to hear of your car troubles - our car died at a very inconvenient time, then again when is it convenient? And we had to get a new one. So my husband searched and searched and finally decided to get one of the best rated, most highly-respected cars on the road...the Corolla. Exactly 7 days later the recalls started coming in! Sigh...

As for your mom, I can say that I know how tough it is to see a family member experience health issues related to the mind...while we don't deal with dementia in my father-in-law, he does have a lot symptoms of the disease as a result of his aneurysm. While we hope that he gets better...there are days when I wonder how we're going to get through it. I'm happy that we're in a position to help him and live with him, and I just keep praying! I'll be praying for you as well! This is surely for the best for your parents - I hope that things transition as smoothly as possible.

Angie's Ad Lib said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles with your parents health issues. It seems like you have a good perspective on things, but that doesn't take away the exhausting aspect of any of it! I will pray for you and your family.

Struggles never seem to come alone. I'm sorry to hear about the car too.

I love that you were given that song! Just what you needed. Sometimes when my mind is preoccupied with a worry, I will notice that I'm humming a tune subconciously. I will "listen" to myself and realize that God has given me "in song" just what I needed to hear. I love Him for that!

I hope you have an Easter filled with great blessings.

One More Equals Four said...

Having computer issues that kept me from commenting. Just want you to know that I am praying for you and your family through this time of adjustment. Iknow it will be tough, but I am sure it will be best in the long run!

Sorry about your husband's car. How great we have a God who provides!

Hope you had a great weekend!

dawn said...

ohmy...I am not at your place in life yet, but can imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking it must be. I am God changed your mom's heart, and pray that he makes the path ahead smooth for her and for all of you.

I am sending a hug. Keep leaning on God for strength.