An Epiphany..

Good Morning Company Girls!!

The above two pics have nothing to do with my post but everything to do with me because they're of my newest grandson, William....I do think he looks very handsome in these pictures but I really think that I am biased!

Anyways.....the last two weeks have been very busy around here at our house...well, actually at my mom and dad's old house. My siblings and I have been working very hard to get it ready to go 'on the market' to be sold. Oh my, the stuff that I've thrown out ...my brother took at least 12 garbage bags to the dump the other day and at least another half dozen have been filled since then. A good amount of mom and dad's household possessions have been claimed by various family members but there's still a lot there. We decided that everyone could have one last chance to take what they wanted this weekend. The Realtors are coming on Monday to take a lot of pictures to advertise it in the newspaper. It is officially listed by the 15th of June. It's amazing how word travels....we've already had two different sets of people come to the house asking about its availability because they were interested.

As I've worked in their house, sorting, saving and tossing it really made me realize about all the junk I have in my own house.....things that I've saved over the years that mean something to me...but...to someone else..not so much. They would get tossed just as I've been doing at mom and dad's house. You know, things like those crafts your kids made when they were in kindergarten...you thought...'oh, when they're older they'll really be glad I did that'....no, not really...they look at it and smile but they really don't want it and you're left with wondering why you bothered to save them all these years. So,...when all this is said and done a very good thing has come out of all this work..(besides getting the house ready!)...I am going to purge like there's no tomorrow in my house....my basement is filled with stuff! Stuff, up to this point that I had an emotional attachment to but I'm determined to be ruthless and get rid of it all. I'm looking forward to walking down to the basement and actually have free space instead of winding my way through various piles and boxes.....I just hope I can keep the momentum going til the job is done and don't give up because of the sheer magnitude of the job!

This week I had an 'aha' moment...I think you call it an epiphany....hubby and I were driving to a town about 45 minutes from here...to get there you have to drive through some lovely rural countryside.....I just love the countryside areas....when my parents moved to the area that I live in now, over 50 years ago...people thought that this was the country...now, it's so built up that it would be considered suburbia......not really something I enjoy but I'm used to. As we were driving...oohing and aahing over the country homes and farms...I said to hubby that this would be my ideal place to live.....a good distance from your nearest neighbor, not a lot of traffic....you could actually see the stars at night because the city lights didn't obscure the view...you know....peaceful. It all of a sudden occurred to me that we were too old..too old to make such a move at this time in our lives.....isn't that the saddest thing you ever heard!! Why didn't we make this move twenty years ago?

It was not a good feeling...this getting older business is for the birds...did you ever get to the point that you realized your dreams could never come true? It made me a little sad....

.....the more I think on it though....the more I realize that it's good to have daydreams and wishes...there's nothing wrong with that but you also have to check your attitude..you have to realize and accept that this is the plan, your life plan that was set long before you were born...oh yes, we can change that plan with the choices we make...that's the free will that God gives to each one of us....but, if we spend our lives bemoaning about what could have, should have, would have been...if only...that we are going to be very miserable people. It's like before we put the additions on our house....for years I had dreamt of putting on a second floor with bedrooms enough for everyone....nobody having a bedroom in the basement anymore. When it came time to get the cost estimates for such a layout we realized that the cost was prohibitive...we'd be in our 80's and still trying to pay off the mortgage! So, we rethought our plans and instead of putting a second floor with all the bedrooms...we just extended our living areas...the living room, dining and kitchen...giving us twice as much room. Now this turned out to be a very good thing....because...when all the kids move out..and please God let them all move out someday..in the next ten years....before hubby retires!....what would I do with all those bedrooms! They wouldn't do me any good at all...plus..my bedroom would have been on the second floor and already my knees and hip have been making their presence well known when I do too much...how the pete would I ever get up and down all those stairs? Plus, when you have nine kids, you kind of figure that your family's only going to get bigger with everyone getting married...okay maybe not everyone...and some having children which of course means more fantastic grandbabies..example at the top of the page.....it stands to reason that when they come home to visit that you need more 'living' space not bedroom space.....

All this to say is that if I had had my dream back then that it certainly wouldn't fit my needs now and it would have been all that debt for what?....a place we'd probably have to get rid of perhaps before we really were ready to......so...even though a place in the country would be lovely right now, at this point...only the Lord knows what my or my hubby's needs will be a few years from now....I think just maybe He has us just where He wants us for now and we'll just have to rest in that..

but I still have to deal with the realization that all of a sudden you realize that you are too old to do something! Oh my.....