New Beginnings....

Good Morning Company Girls.......

Today is pay day which equals grocery day which also equals, in my teenagers minds....no food in the house!! So guess what's on the list for today! It also coincides with hubby's day off so I guess that's a good thing...grocery shopping on my own is just toooooooo much! I'm also off to get my hair trimmed....every 3-4 months it starts to get a shaggy dog look to it and it really must be dealt with....after all, have to look presentable for Chicago!!.....hubby and I are suppose to go there next week for a few days...he has a financial conference and he wanted me to come along for the ride....last night, I wasn't so sure if it was going to happen cause my dad, who's been in the hospital for the last 4 weeks...who has suffered thru the nasty side effects of colitis, the Norwalk virus, being pushed past his limit in physio to get him on his feet again, dealt with a painful ear for 3 weeks before they finally suctioned a ton of debris from his ears,...and now this....yesterday he had a mild heart attack.....I saw him afterwards and quite frankly if that's how he looks after a mild one, I'd hate to see a more serious one. I was scared to leave him to come home last night....but, the first thing I thot of this morning upon awakening was...no phone call....no phone call to tell me that he had gone in the night,.......so after my haircut this morning, hubby and I will head to the hospital to see for ourselves...I know it's selfish of me, after all he's been thru to want him to stay with us longer...but I really want him to come home to spend some time with my mom in the retirement home...he's wanted that for so long...and quite frankly, I don't know if my mother could hang onto the shred of cognizant thot that she has left in her brain taken over by dementia ,if dad left us now.

Anyways, April is almost done and May is waiting to open the door...the blossoms are out everywhere, they look gorgeous but I'm one of those weird people who likes things nice and orderly.....my trees, at the front of my hpouse, of flowering crabapples always bloom around the long weekend in May, in Canada that's around the 24th,.....well, the buds are looking very red at this moment...I don't think they will wait til then....it's a little disappointing..I know weird...I like things to happen, when they're suppose to happen....oh well...May is coming...I love April and May...they are my favourite...I love seeing all the new shoots and flowers coming and everything greening up and looking so fresh.

New beginnings.....great eh?

I Never Thot....

At 4:51 a.m. I awakened to the sound of constant nails clicking on the wood hallway floor outside my bedroom. It was one of our dogs, named Reilly. I knew it was him because our other dog, Maggie was tied up in our bedroom. We found that if we give her free reign during the night that she sneaks out into the living room and sleeps on the furniture! A big no-no in my house...I love my doggies but I do not allow them on the furniture! Back to Reilly....I have no idea what his problem was but, being the dutiful wife that I am,...I woke up hubby....'there's something wrong with Reilly, he keeps pacing up and down the hallway...maybe he needs to go out'.....if you knew my hubby, then you'd know that he wasn't impressed with these words...(as I stayed snuggled in my bed). When hubby got up, well, wouldn't you know..Reilly went into Maya's room and laid down...hubby kept calling him to come so he could put him out but he wouldn't go...finally I got up and coaxed him down to the back door.....all that commotion woke me up....

As I was laying there, trying to get some more sleep, my thoughts naturally went to my dad....he's still in the hospital, still not doing well,...in fact he's probably worse and so is his mental state...he's very discouraged and depressed. He told my mom that day that he didn't think he'd be coming home. The night before my little brother said to me that he didn't think dad would be coming home and when I, in great concern relayed this thought to hubby...he said, he'd been having the same thought himself.......

......as I lay there, trying to go back to sleep...I started praying, praying that the Lord would lay his healing hand on my dad, praying that he'd be able to come home to my mom....but selfishly, I was probably praying that my dad wouldn't leave just yet.....

Growing up my dad was always my security, he was strong, worked all day, came home and worked all evening..mowing the lawns, rotor tilling the garden....always working...always there...when I married it took awhile for me to transfer that security to hubby.....you find yourself, in the beginning mentally comparing the two men, whether you realize it or not....I don't know when the transfer became complete ...it must have been gradual because I wasn't aware of it.

I sat there, at the hospital yesterday, watching my dad....his quality of life really does suck right now....I hate to see this man who was so mighty and strong at one time, just lying there, sleeping often, still being subjected to the nasty side effects of his ulcerated colitis, still having needles all the time for his diabetes, still having to be painfully poked and prodded, many times a week for his dialysis....

When my mom speaks of her new living conditions at the retirement home...she quotes her mom, when she went into a nursing home...'I never thot it would come to this'.....

I sit and stare at my dad and think...'I never thot it would come to this......

Life as it is....

Good Morning, Company Girls!
Today I get to have 4, I think 4 are coming.....of my grandkids for the morning! My grandson goes to school but his two sisters are homeschooled. I'm not sure of they (his parents) will have Jairus, my grandson, go to school today or not. It will be a surprise. Their parents, my daughter and son-in-law will be attending a homeschool convention. Homeschooling is a huge responsibility and it's always helpful to go to these activities that show you the latest and greatest...any help is usually welcome!

So, it will be a busy morning, keeping the grandkids occupied...I'm glad it's a sunny day!

For those of you that have read previous posts about my son Corey and my parents...just a little update........

After Corey was moved from the ICU to the ward bed, I will admit to you that I haven't been back to see him. Last weekend was exhausting, emotionally and physically....we didn't know in the beginning of it all if he would even live.....once he was in the ward, my son Paul and I went to visit....the girl that Corey has been living with was there also. It was an awkward visit, and I came away with the feelings of anger.....anger that he wasn't indicating at all that he was going to change his lifestyle over all that had happened. Corey and his girlfriend spend a lot of their time drinking,....Corey was drunk when the accident happened...I was angry that not only did he put his own life in jeopardy, (even though he wasn't driving the motorcycle) he still was irresponsible and could have injured someone else when he fell of the bike.....who knows if there was other traffic around at the time. Corey's 26 years old...time to grow up and join the adult world....I don't think that will happen.....Corey will go back to his old lifestyle as soon as he's released. Pretty sad life....but one he has chosen.

My mom and dad...well, dad is still in the hospital, having his dialysis and doing rehab to make him stronger. So far, we only see him exhausted whenever we visit....heck, we're all exhausted...with moving my mother this week and someone always having to be available to take her to the hospital daily....well, it wears a body out, to be sure. My mom's been refusing, except for a piece of toast at breakfast, to take her meals in the dining room with the rest of the residents....so yesterday my sister refused to buy her food when they went to see dad...usually, whoever takes her would stop for supper on the way home.....that's what she holds out for...well, yesterday, sister just brought her back to the retirement home and she was forced into have supper there. Because of her dementia, she's acting like a sullen teenager so sister figured we had no choice but to treat her like one....in many ways my mom is very stubborn and her own worse enemy! She complains about being bored but refuses to join in the activities there..'with all those old people'!

So, it's been quite a week..full of emotional and physical ups and downs.....we're hoping that things will get better...that my dad will be able to join my mom at the retirement home soon.....

but for today...I'll just enjoy the grandkids..... :0)

oh...today is daughter-in-law Jennifer's birthday...Happy Birthday Jennifer!

Have a great weekend ladies!

Thankfulness....

Things and People that I am Thankful for.......

....a hubby who has loved me and accepted me..as I am...for more than 40 years....

.....my kids...stressful, though they may be, I blame them for every single grey hair on my head,..life would most certainly be very boring without them....

.....my grandbabies.....oh they bring a smile to my face and an exhaustion to my body...but I can't wait for more......(as long as the mommies and daddies are married, that is...enough stress already!)........

.....my mom and dad, and my mother-in-law....even though times have been rough lately, I'm so grateful that they're still with us......

...good friends, who are ready to give you a hug and a prayer...such encouragement....

....clean sheets....I love getting into clean sheets after a long, tiring day.....

....spending time with my hubby.....bliss....

....my quilting group friends, my book club friends and my lunch friends....what joy to spend time together, sharing....

....the strength God gives me every day to get up each morning....

.....plans...I love having plans that I can 'hang my hat on'...something to look forward to when life gets crazy............

....a nice cup of tea......so relaxing...

....a two armed hug.....is there anything better.....

...the home that we have...messy as it is...small in some places....but thankful for......

.....a spring day...everything veeeeerrrrrrry quiet, except for the birds....singing away....or in the early evening when they are settling down for the night......

.....the strength and ability to still quilt,...to read a good book....how could life be better?.....

.....for the love that God shows me everyday, in all these people and things......for life itself.....and the promise of the life hereafter.....

....I'll probably think of many more...but for now this is my short list...maybe I'll add to it as time goes on......

Being thankful...kinda puts the day in a better perspective, don't ya think?

...not fair.....

This is my mom and dad...they've been apart now since the Tuesday before Easter, when my dad went into the hospital. His Ulcerated Colitis was out of control and he wasn't able to get to his dialysis, so the doctor admitted him.

Up until my dad went into the hospital, my mom was steadfast in her resolve not to go into the retirement home. After the first night without dad, she told my sister that she thought that maybe they should. We moved quickly because with my mom's dementia you never knew just when she'd change her mind. Unfortunately, my dad's hospital confinement has been lengthened when he contracted the Norwalk Virus....which thankfully he survived but left him 20 lbs lighter and weak as a kitten. Now, he faces a couple of weeks of rehab to get stronger and more mobile.

Yesterday was moving day for my mom...for the past two weeks she has done quite well...oh yes, she made it clear to everyone that she didn't want to leave her home for the retirement home but that she would go if it meant getting dad back home. It was a very long and exhausting day for her...the last few days she's hardly slept at all and continuously spoke of how she would be so glad when it was all done. We all worked hard, but especially my sister to get her new home as familiar and cozy for her as possible and all went well until the afternoon.

Mom had been asking thru out the day, when she was going to see dad...she really needed to see him.....unfortunately we were all busy moving her furniture and belongings, getting everything set up...unfortunately, I had been able to get rid of two of my appointments yesterday but still had two more that I couldn't rearrange and had to take time away from the move to attend to......she kept asking...something kept niggling at me that we needed to get her there but no one was available til after supper. By mid afternoon she started to spiral and by 5 o'clock she was refusing to go back to the retirement home, (they were at a local coffee shop)...she came to my sister's house for some soup, which she hardly ate....she was angry, as she sat there with her arms folded...sometimes crying.....she kept saying over and over that there had to be another solution to all of this, there just had to be....we cried with her.....there was nothing we could do...

my brother took her to see dad...she was told before she left that she'd have to make a decision of where to sleep that night...my sisters or the retirement home....my youngest brother even offered to sleep on her couch the first night....she decided that she'd do it herself...at the retirement home.......but all she wanted to do was go back to her house.......none of her belongings were there....we tried to gently explain.....

it's really not fair...really....the elderly should be able to live where they want at the end, be with whom they want, not be separated by those that they've loved and been married to for 66 years when you have to go through these trials and tribulations...

it's really not fair.

A little guy in a red basball hat...

Dear Company Girls,

Today I have a story about a little boy...the very first time I saw him he was walking down the hall, holding the hand of a social worker at our local Children's Aid Society. At that time we were a foster family and this little guy was coming to stay with us....he had a mop of dark black hair with a little red baseball hat on his head. The biggest, dark eyes you'd ever want to look at were staring up at me.....he was 2-1/2 years old and his name was Corey. Almost three years later he legally became our son. We legally called him Cordell Jonathan but he's always been Corey....except today when I heard the doctors in the ICU at the hospital call him Cordell.

Last night started out being a quiet evening, it had been a beautiful warm day...warmer than usual for our part of Canada. It had been a tiring day...helping my mother pack for her upcoming move to the retirement home...I was weary and was just relaxing, watching a little television when the phone rang....the call display said private name, private number...which I wondered about because that's usually hubby calling but I knew that he was busy with his class at the college (where he teaches in the evening)...when I answered this voice asked if this was Corey's home or his parents home...I said it was his parents...they said he'd been involved in an accident, he fell off a motorcycle. They went on to say that they'd be airlifting him to the nearest trauma unit, in the city, close to where we live. Now the nurse said that he was doing well and was talking to them but I knew that if they were airlifting instead of going by ambulance that it was serious...I also knew that the trauma centre specialized in head trauma.

I quickly texted hubby but unfortunately his class was writing their exam , he couldn't leave his students. My sister just happened to come along at that time and she drove me to the hospital.

It was a very long evening.

We sat and waited and waited and waited. Hubby arrived. We waited some more. The doctors would come out and give us little tidbits but couldn't really tell us a lot til the did the Cat Scans and blood work. Then they finally took him up to ICU.

After he'd been up there a few hours they took him back down for another cat scan...he had bleeding in his chest and they weren't sure if it was a damaged aorta.

The doctor came and talked to us again...another doctor...I think the fourth, described how he was covered in serious abrasions from the road...today the nurses who were looking after these abrasions said he must have rolled along the road (sounds so gentle doesn't it?), since both front and back of his body was scraped), they put in a chest tube because part of his lung had collapsed, then, because he became combative they had to sedate him, and because they did that then they had to intubate him. Now, warning this next part is not for the squeamish, so beware....Corey suffered a gash across the back of his head, from ear to ear, in a jagged pattern, that tore his scalp and pulled it forward....they stapled it back together!

So, would you like to hear the miracle in all of this?

Corey suffered no fractures, no major internal injuries, no brain damage,.......people...he should not even be alive....the doctors said it was remarkable.

That's not the first time this has happened to Corey.

You see, when Corey was about 3-1/2 years old...he almost drowned...well actually he did...eldest daughter had taken him to the beach where we were camping...she turned her head for a few moments and when looked back...couldn't see him...when she did find him he was already facing down in the water, his legs spread eagle, unconscious. Leslie (eldest daughter), pulled him out and started CPR, a pool was nearby and the lifeguard came running in time to roll him on his side for him to vomit. The doctors at the hospital said that if the CPR hadn't been done that he would have died.

He should have died then. He should have died yesterday.

For the last ten years, Corey has turned his back on God. He's lived his own way...drugs, alcohol, fathering a child. But when he was a child Corey gave his life to God...I truly believe that God had a plan for Corey then and I still believe that he has a plan for him now. I have no idea when Corey will accept that....Corey believes that there isn't a forgiveness big enough for all that he's done. Corey's wrong...there is, I just pray that someday we can convince him of that, that someday he will know that God has never left him, that God is still with him, that He's set his guardian angel to watch over him(and he's given that angel a run for their money, to be sure).....

.......that God has written Corey's name on the palm of his hand.....He has not forgotten him.

Drama, Part Two....

Emma has been acting weird lately.

I mean, more weird than usual....sometimes, I've wondered if she's 'on something'....although I'm not really good at deciphering that.....it's the one thing that I haven't been given a very good perception about.....

I mean,...have a kid lie to me an I can usually spot it a mile away, have a kid try to deceive me and it's glaring in my face, ...have a kid living with me, 'on something'..well, I will admit to being kinda dense about it.

Of course, Emma wouldn't admit it to me..most kids in their right minds wouldn't.....finally, last night, when she was driving me bonkers, (as she's been doing daily for a couple of months now...at least a couple of months...time does pass quickly, the only saving grace..)....I spoke to her about it.

'Emma, what is going on with you.....you're 16 years old, but you're certainly not acting it....you go around talking very dramatically, reacting dramatically to everything ...why aren't you at least acting like you're 16 years old?'

Emma started to flounce off...yes, flounce...if anything, she's dramatic......she says....

'I act normal at school, but here I'm just bored...'

Bored,...so, I've been subjected to this obnoxious behaviour, for I don't know how long because she's bored......

Good grief....Lord help us.

A Beautiful day...

Good Morning Company Girls!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood,..would you be mine, would you be mine......

Okay, okay..so I used to watch Mr. Rogers with my kids many moons ago....he was always so calming.....

Anyways, it's a good day today...we've had rain on and off all week...this morning is overcast but so far..no rain....one marvellous thing with ll the rain and the warm weather we had before the rain is the beautiful green grass that is changing everywhere....I sit here looking across at my neighbor where I see beautiful bright green grass with gorgeous yellow forsythia blooming ...the yellow against the green is so...spring like.....I love spring....it is my most favourite season! I was thinking about the forsythia blooming and thought that the grass isn't usually green when it blooms..it's usually still that ugly yellowy-brown.....the forsythia blooming also reminds me that I'll need to figure out how to prune my rose bushes...some people do that in the fall but my grandfather, who grew a lot of roses always did it in the spring...when the forsythia blossomed...so that's what I do...or should I say...my mother always did...she'd faithfully come over every spring and trim my roses and my Rose of Sharon bushes. I don't think she can do that anymore so I guess I'll have to figure it out!......or....see if my sister could help me...her gardens always look fabulous, whereas mine always look like a dog's breakfast, as my mom would say.....maybe I could see if she has a spare few minutes to give me pointers...hmmmmmm.

Hubby came safely back home from California last night which I am eternally grateful for....there's nothing like a comforting, two-armed hug to make the world seem right! Today, he is taking his Friday Day Off....we have to go to the bank...I got a phone message yesterday telling me that my debit card had been compromised and I needed to come in and get a new one.....good grief, why cant these scammers just get a legal job.....then we are going to go and pick up hubby's new (previously owned) car...that we just signed over our lives for the next five years to pay for.....you may remember that he blew the engine on his other car last week.....since it would cost twice as much to fix it then the car was worth, this was the wisest option! Still haven't heard from good old Norman, the tow truck driver (previous post)....maybe hubby will try and call him today too.....then the kids have youth group tonight....I hope we can go and see my dad while they're at that...he's doing a wee bit better.....now they say that when he's gotten rid of this Norwalk that they'll transfer him to rehab to get him stronger before he can come home....a long road I think.

So, it is a beautiful day, heard my little grandson laughing on the phone last night, while his mama tickled him...ever so cute....hope yours is a beautiful day where ever you are....God is good...all the time...even when we cant see it....

Have a good one!

Oh my....

Oh my. It's been a very, very difficult week...and it's only Wednesday!

My dad has been in the hospital for over a week. Last Sunday, Easter...hubby and I went to visit him, as well as our eldest son and his wife and their new little one, William. He's four months old now. Well, when we got there they had gowns and gloves outside the door for us to wear. My brother, who was there with my mom, came out and said that dad had a very bad night, that he had been vomiting all night. Poor dad ...he did look very frail. We really didn't think too much of the implications of him being physically ill because quite often, especially on dialysis days , this is what happens. We kept the visit very short and just after we left the room, and were washing our hands, after removing the gowns and gloves.,,,,the nurse comes along. She looks at William and says...you didn't take him in there did you...we said yes...she said, well we just got the patients' tests back and he tested positive for Norwalk Virus! Oh my goodness!

I will admit to being very worried about my dad and about my grandson. My dad is medically so fragile at this time that I truly wondered if this would take his life...and my little grandson....oh, I was so torn....my dad was so thrilled to see him..the joy on his face was so special...but to think that I had put him in this risk area.....oh, I felt so bad.

Hubby left early Tuesday morning for Longbeach, California....I really just 'exist' when he is away....before he left we had to make arrangements for our car that died last week and was still at the 'garage'. It needed to be moved. We were just going to have it towed to our house where we needed to arrange for it to go to the wreckers where hubby wanted to get the tires and battery removed. Both were fairly new...the tires about three months and the battery just two weeks. Hubby didn't want to give those up! So I went to the garage and waited for the tow truck...when he arrived he looked at the car and offered to buy iy...well,....I don't do that kind of selling so I called hubby on the phone...they talked and made a deal...the tow truck guy would bring the car to our house...I'd sign the ownership over to him and get the car cleaned out....then he was going to take it 'where ever' and then later in the evening he'd bring the tires and battery. Well, when hubby got home from teaching he had been talking to 'Norman the tow truck driver'...he wasn't able to bring the tires and battery til the next day....after hubby had left the country! So, by the middle of the afternoon of the next day...dear old Norman still hadn't shown up. I called him....'oh ya, I'm just on my way now'.....

About 20 minutes later, he calls.....sounding a little stressed....he was bringing the battery and tires, on the back of his tow truck...when the battery just jumped off and landed on the highway, where some unsuspecting poor person hit it!!!!!

Now dear Norman didn't come forth with any suggestion of repayment so I get on the phone to hubby...who has just landed at LAex.....when he had the opportunity he called dear old Norman and told him that he wanted to be reimbursed for our loss....Norman assured us that he would....so far, nothing from dear old Norman......

My mom and dad are scheduled to move into the retirement home, hopefully next week when he's fully recovered from the Norwalk Virus. I think that next week just may be just as long as this week has turned out to be.

Oh my.

Changes

Good Morning Company Girls!

This picture of my mom and dad was taken this past Christmas. They are in their mid eighties and have been going through some difficult times lately....and that means, as their children, we've been going through the difficult times too. My mom has dementia....anyone that has experienced a loved one with this condition will understand the frustration and heartache that this condition brings for the person with the disease and the family who must interact with her. She's very aware of everything that is going on around her to the point of even being somewhat irrational in her comprehension of her actual living situation. Her homemaking skills have deteriorated and when we tried to get homemaking help in for her she became angry..she would get up early to get all the work done so that she could tell the homemaker that there was nothing for her to do. She caused more than one microwave fire at home and at the dialysis unit that my dad must visit during the week. Everything she cooked was usually burnt. She still feels that she's doing just fine. Up until this week she steadfastly refused to consider moving into a retirement home.....it's caused a lot of friction between her and my dad...they've been married for 66 years. What changed her mind? Well, my dad has many physical problems....renal failure, diabetes, lymphoma, ulcerated colitis, and glaucoma...to name a few! One of the side effects of the ulcerated colitis is not being able to leave the bathroom.....if you get what I mean....my poor dad started with this last Saturday and by Tuesday it still hadn't let up...he missed his dialysis...never good...his doctor decided to admit him to the hospital.....

The first night, that my dad was in the hospital, my mom, in her dementia stupor declared that dad could go to the retirement home...she never would....now, even though you know that it's the dementia talking, it still wounds, it still upsets.....

...the next morning, when my sister called my mom to see how she had fared, on her own..(we didn't like leaving her, in her condition, but she insisted...and when mom insists you can't convince her otherwise)...my mother stated that she thought that they needed to move into the retirement home, that dad needed it....glory be....just 20 minutes before my sister called to tell me this I had been having my morning devotions and praying that God would change my mom's heart....we had been trying to for weeks......and now this...she finally agreed...reluctantly, she still doesn't like it...but she agreed.

So, now it's going through the process, the medical forms and such....getting stuff packed...although, they're small rooms so they wont be able to take much...it's going to be an emotional few weeks to be sure...I'm also sure that it wont end there..it'll take a while for them (especially my mom) to adjust......

....oh, if you want to say a few extra prayers our way...my hubby's car died last night....completely..it would cost at least twice as much as it's worth to fix it...just when you think thinks are going okay...isn't always the way?....So, we have to find another one...which will probably involve a trip to the local bank, ...I just love loans...they give you something to work on don't you think?

Please have a wonderful Easter...this morning, I woke up to the words from a very old hymn going around in my head...I know I haven't sung it in at least 20 years......maybe you know it.....

' In times like these, you need a Saviour,

In times like these, you need an anchor,

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the solid Rock'

I think the Lord reminded me of this, this morning....He knew I'd need the reminding.....this Rock is Jesus, yes He's the one..the only one.....be very sure.

The Lord is Risen.....He is risen indeed!