Hello Company Girls!
Well, it's a lovely mild day here in Southern Ontario, Canada...and I'm enjoying it! I will admit, and I realize that it's almost committing suicide to do so.....but....I'm not an autumn person...or winter.....the only redeeming things in my books are beautiful coloured foliage and Christmas...other than that I'm afraid I'd jump right to spring! When I read my blogs....so many people rave about autumn and how much they love it!...me...not so much....I hate seeing all the trees go bare, the grass yellow and brown...I hate the cold...can you tell I'm not really an outdoorsey person?
So...today is a busy day.....I decided to have a family dinner tonight...usually these occur on Sundays but eldest son and wife and baby William are coming tonight....I'm not sure if they're staying one or two nights but....they are coming! (For those of you that don't know, they live just over three hours away and with our schedule and their schedule we only see each other once every 3-4 months...babies do a lot of growing and changing in that time!)
Plus in the last week there have been three birthdays in the family...first was eldest daughter's, Leslie...she turned 36 (good grief I'm old!)...then Laurens' boyfriend Ryan..he's been coming around long enough that he's part of the family, and then Laurens' birthday...(which I blogged about a couple of posts back)......so it's grand birthday time!! I was going to bake some cakes but ran out of time and energy last night...and today the roast of beef has to be in the oven most of the day.....it's got to be fairly large to feed all 16 of us! So, must purchase the cake today....finish the cleaning, pick up a small table and chairs from sister, pick up prescription from drug store, pick up Maya's guitar that I dropped off yesterday at music store to get string replaced, set the table, find autumn decor somewhere downstairs, finish prepping veggies, make Yorkshire pudding batter, and fortunately, in all of this, have a massage...that I booked 3weeks ago, before I even knew I'd be doing this today!
....and, if Megan's glasses just happen to come in today (please read previous post)...then I'll take her to get those too......when she gets home from school.....
So, I must get going....things to do, places to go, people to see...have a wonderful weekend!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Glasses
So Megan's glasses broke on the weekend.......tragic for her, annoying for us....just in case you're thinking I'm hard hearted...please let me explain.....Megan is developmentally delayed..she's our youngest at age 15 but cognitively she's 3-4 years old. Have you ever lived with a hormonally charged teenage girl who has the comprehension of a small child ..think about it...think about having all those lovely 'coming of age' talks with your teen daughter...and then think about having said discussion...again and again and again......that's living with Megan....so, back to the glasses. We took her right to the eye doctors when it happened but they were officially closed so the lady there just taped them and said 'come back on Tuesday, she needs an eye exam anyways'.....of course, since the break was just where the bridge meets the actual frame around the lens, the tape was really useless....so Saturday night hubby and I are trying some kind of super glue..which seemed to hold...we put tape on just to be sure....that lasted Sunday and Monday...on Tuesday she came home from school with them in pieces..again....
Now...before we left for the eye doctors she was going on about a new glass case...without a word of a lie...i told her five times that she'd get a new eye glass case when she got her new glasses....which wouldn't be that day cause they have to order them....we don't normally go to those places that have them done in an hour....I tried that for my glasses one time and quite frankly it wasn't worth it...the quality just wasn't there....anyways back to the cases, after the doctor did the eye exam and said her eyes were just fine....we went out to look at new glass frames...chose a pair....the lady said it would be a week before they come in...maybe if we were lucky they'd come on Friday.......and Megan opens her mouth...and you know it...says...what about the glass case....will I get that today????? Good Grief!
So yesterday, being Wednesday..she comes home from school....'did they call, are my glasses ready?' 'No...what did they tell you?'...'well, she said maybe Friday'...'is this Friday?'...'well, it's almost Friday'...'no, it isn't...anyways, don't get your hopes up that they'll be ready for Friday..it'll probably be next Tuesday'...'why, next Tuesday?', she asks...'because that's a week', I say.....'but I can't see to do anything at school'....'well, I'm sorry but there's really nothing I can do about it..we've done all that we can....you'll just have to wait'.....
A little later..she came back again......'why can't they be ready for Monday?'...'cause the office isn't open on Monday'.....'aren't they working on them?'...'they don't work on them at the office they work on them at the glass factory' (for lack of better terminology)....'will they work on them tonight?'...'no, they'll only work on them in the day'...'why?'...'cause they go home to their families at night...just like your dad does'...'but my dad doesn't come home at night'...'that's cause your dad goes and teaches at the colleges some nights..,but the people at the glass factory go home to their families at night'....'what about on Saturday and Sunday...will they work on them then?'...'no, is your dad at work on Saturday and Sunday?'...'no'...'well, then, those people deserve some time with their families too'...'but I need my glasses'....'I know...there's nothing more i can do'.....'but what about the recycling?'
'What about recycling'....'my class does it tomorrow at school....I always wear my glasses to do recycling'...'well, you can do it without this time'...'but I can't read without them'...'yes, that would be difficult but you can do all the rest of the stuff at school....now, go do your laundry'....
So, the rest of the evening, Megan...did her laundry, set the table, unloaded the dishwasher, played her game boy, ate her supper, made her lunch for today...all without glasses.
This morning, as she was leaving for school..she says...'so, this is day two'....'day two of what', I said....'day two without glasses'......
'Megan, ....last night you did your laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, set the table, ate your supper, made your lunch..and the night before you played the WII and had a shower......all without your glasses didn't you'...'yes'.....'well, you can still do everything at school today just fine'...
...'but I can't read my journal'.....'no...you can't read your journal'.......
....and my mother keeps telling me that I have the patience of Job...I question that...cause inside I feel like I really don't......
.....maybe you could join me in prayer right now that the glasses are really ready by tomorrow.....I would be ever so grateful......
Now...before we left for the eye doctors she was going on about a new glass case...without a word of a lie...i told her five times that she'd get a new eye glass case when she got her new glasses....which wouldn't be that day cause they have to order them....we don't normally go to those places that have them done in an hour....I tried that for my glasses one time and quite frankly it wasn't worth it...the quality just wasn't there....anyways back to the cases, after the doctor did the eye exam and said her eyes were just fine....we went out to look at new glass frames...chose a pair....the lady said it would be a week before they come in...maybe if we were lucky they'd come on Friday.......and Megan opens her mouth...and you know it...says...what about the glass case....will I get that today????? Good Grief!
So yesterday, being Wednesday..she comes home from school....'did they call, are my glasses ready?' 'No...what did they tell you?'...'well, she said maybe Friday'...'is this Friday?'...'well, it's almost Friday'...'no, it isn't...anyways, don't get your hopes up that they'll be ready for Friday..it'll probably be next Tuesday'...'why, next Tuesday?', she asks...'because that's a week', I say.....'but I can't see to do anything at school'....'well, I'm sorry but there's really nothing I can do about it..we've done all that we can....you'll just have to wait'.....
A little later..she came back again......'why can't they be ready for Monday?'...'cause the office isn't open on Monday'.....'aren't they working on them?'...'they don't work on them at the office they work on them at the glass factory' (for lack of better terminology)....'will they work on them tonight?'...'no, they'll only work on them in the day'...'why?'...'cause they go home to their families at night...just like your dad does'...'but my dad doesn't come home at night'...'that's cause your dad goes and teaches at the colleges some nights..,but the people at the glass factory go home to their families at night'....'what about on Saturday and Sunday...will they work on them then?'...'no, is your dad at work on Saturday and Sunday?'...'no'...'well, then, those people deserve some time with their families too'...'but I need my glasses'....'I know...there's nothing more i can do'.....'but what about the recycling?'
'What about recycling'....'my class does it tomorrow at school....I always wear my glasses to do recycling'...'well, you can do it without this time'...'but I can't read without them'...'yes, that would be difficult but you can do all the rest of the stuff at school....now, go do your laundry'....
So, the rest of the evening, Megan...did her laundry, set the table, unloaded the dishwasher, played her game boy, ate her supper, made her lunch for today...all without glasses.
This morning, as she was leaving for school..she says...'so, this is day two'....'day two of what', I said....'day two without glasses'......
'Megan, ....last night you did your laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, set the table, ate your supper, made your lunch..and the night before you played the WII and had a shower......all without your glasses didn't you'...'yes'.....'well, you can still do everything at school today just fine'...
...'but I can't read my journal'.....'no...you can't read your journal'.......
....and my mother keeps telling me that I have the patience of Job...I question that...cause inside I feel like I really don't......
.....maybe you could join me in prayer right now that the glasses are really ready by tomorrow.....I would be ever so grateful......
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The Ride!
I don't know if I told this story before...but it's such a good one that it bears repeating. (Is that the correct way to spell bears or is it bares....hmm...I think it might be bares but you choose the one you want!)
Anyways, the summer of 1986, hubby and I had been a foster family for about three years. We were on our holidays and we had one little boy as well as our oldest two...the little boy was quite the terror so I really don't know why we were even giving this any consideration at all...but we were young and so we did. You see, we had been approved for one foster child and if you wanted to be approved for two you had to inform 'the agency' -Children's Aid it's called in Canada.....well...we spent our whole holiday discussing this....whether it was a really good idea or not..whether we could actually 'handle' four kids...(the Lord must have been having a giggle about that since he ended up giving us nine!) On with the story,.....we decided that we would...but quite frankly,..whenever I thought about it when we returned home...I'd get cold feet...I wasn't entirely convinced that I could do it. Finally, about a month later...I know, I'm a big scaredy cat...I called. It was on a Monday...I remember it well....I talked to the social worker that we usually dealt with..she was in charge of the babies..we were approved for 0-2 years old. She said that she wouldn't have time to come out that week to do our home check for another child...it would have to be the following week. Okay, I thought...that was fine....on the Friday of the same week, I got a call from this worker......she asked if we'd be interested in having a newborn....I was very excited...who doesn't love brand new babies....I said 'YES!"....she said that she'd bring this little one out on Monday....'but' ..I said...'we haven't been approved for two yet!' The worker said that it was okay...she come out on the date scheduled to do that......then the worker said when the baby had been born.....she had been born on the very day, the Monday...that I finally got the nerve up to call the agency!!
Now, some people would call this a coincidence, a fluke....me...well, I can definitely see the Lord's hand in this whole situation...he planned it all.....and over the next number of years whenever I questioned whether we were the right mom and dad for this little one, I would remember just how the Lord brought her into our family in the first place...and I would know that it was right.
Twenty-four years ago today I made that call....two years later she became our very first child that we adopted.....the first of seven...what a ride the Lord has taken us on...but I wouldn't have missed it...I'm glad he chose us!
Happy Birthday! Lauren Kristie Victoria!!
* the pic is Lauren holding baby William last Christmas...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Neverending Love....
Good Morning Company Girls!
I have an Uncle Shorty....yes, he really is short....his actual name is Hugh, but I was told that he preferred Shorty ...he really didn't think Hugh was a 'manly' name...which is kind of humorous since he also name his own son Hugh! Uncle Shorty was married to Aunt Elsie...she was one of my dad's older sisters. Uncle Shorty was a neat man....always caring, always seemed much younger than his 91 years. When his wife was declining and she had difficulty moving he did everything for her..bathing , dressing, did her hair..even put her earrings in for her..so she always looked nice. Aunt Elsie got to the point where her speech was so slurred that people couldn't understand her...she needed special care in a nursing home but Uncle Shorty still tried to do everything for her..he moved into the nursing home with her..even though he didn't need to be in a nursing home. I'll always remember when he'd take her for a drive..after he put her in the car, he'd lean over her to buckle her seat belt for her....he'd say something to her and give her a little kiss. It was my dad that told me that he always told her that he loved her...every single time he buckled her seat belt for her! I was awestruck. About a year and a half ago, Aunt Elsie died and Uncle Shorty moved out of the nursing home...he lived in Ottawa for about the last 40 or so years...but his only son, his only child left (his daughter died of cancer 9 years ago) lived in Victoria, British Columbia. So, Uncle Shorty decided that that's where he'd go. I had mixed feelings at the time...I knew he was lonely, I knew it would be good for him to be near his son...but I also knew that I'd probably never see him again alive. It made me very sad as I hugged him good bye...but..I did see him again..he and his son flew back in May for my dad's funeral. I cried when I saw him come into the funeral home and embrace my little mom. He had been their Best Man at their wedding...now they both were without their spouses.
You may have caught that I referred to Uncle Shorty in the past tense, a few sentences back. That's because this morning he was probably giving my dad a big hug as he joined him in heaven....he was a great husband, father, grandfather...and a great uncle.
We will miss him but rejoice with him that he is with the Lord...and all the special people, his wife, his daughter, my dad...and a host of others that have gone on before.
I have an Uncle Shorty....yes, he really is short....his actual name is Hugh, but I was told that he preferred Shorty ...he really didn't think Hugh was a 'manly' name...which is kind of humorous since he also name his own son Hugh! Uncle Shorty was married to Aunt Elsie...she was one of my dad's older sisters. Uncle Shorty was a neat man....always caring, always seemed much younger than his 91 years. When his wife was declining and she had difficulty moving he did everything for her..bathing , dressing, did her hair..even put her earrings in for her..so she always looked nice. Aunt Elsie got to the point where her speech was so slurred that people couldn't understand her...she needed special care in a nursing home but Uncle Shorty still tried to do everything for her..he moved into the nursing home with her..even though he didn't need to be in a nursing home. I'll always remember when he'd take her for a drive..after he put her in the car, he'd lean over her to buckle her seat belt for her....he'd say something to her and give her a little kiss. It was my dad that told me that he always told her that he loved her...every single time he buckled her seat belt for her! I was awestruck. About a year and a half ago, Aunt Elsie died and Uncle Shorty moved out of the nursing home...he lived in Ottawa for about the last 40 or so years...but his only son, his only child left (his daughter died of cancer 9 years ago) lived in Victoria, British Columbia. So, Uncle Shorty decided that that's where he'd go. I had mixed feelings at the time...I knew he was lonely, I knew it would be good for him to be near his son...but I also knew that I'd probably never see him again alive. It made me very sad as I hugged him good bye...but..I did see him again..he and his son flew back in May for my dad's funeral. I cried when I saw him come into the funeral home and embrace my little mom. He had been their Best Man at their wedding...now they both were without their spouses.
You may have caught that I referred to Uncle Shorty in the past tense, a few sentences back. That's because this morning he was probably giving my dad a big hug as he joined him in heaven....he was a great husband, father, grandfather...and a great uncle.
We will miss him but rejoice with him that he is with the Lord...and all the special people, his wife, his daughter, my dad...and a host of others that have gone on before.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Oh dear....
Good Morning Company Girls!!
Well, it's been some week...good grief!
On Monday we took Maya up to the camp where she'll be spending a lot of her time for the next few months! Poor kid...she was apprehensive but tried not to show it...I'd show you pictures but hubby still hasn't put them on...... I casually said to him the other night...um...do you think you would have time to put my picture gallery back on (from the external hard drive) this evening? He looked at me rather sheepishly and replied...'well, I'm not quite sure how to do that...I think I need to check with James..(son-in-law that took everything off my laptop and put it onto the external hard drive to begin with!)....I was confused...I said 'well, then how come you told him you could put it back on...no problemo!???' Good grief....well, anyways...no pics of Maya looking cautiously pleased to be at her new place. Hopefully this gets worked out very soon!
On Tuesday the other three started off to school...took a pic of that too...wasn't going to given that they're all so darn big now...but one of them said before they left 'aren't you going to take our picture...you always take our picture...it's tradition!' So..I dutifully got the camera out....hopefully you'll see that too...someday.....
Wednesday I went to the dentist...no..not for me..but to watch over grandgirls while eldest daughter had her cleaning and check-up...I will admit to coming away from there quite worn out...where do they get their energy! On the way home I stopped and visited with my mom for awhile........she's doing pretty well most times...but the nurse came to check on her when she didn't show up for lunch one day....she was playing her piano...my mom says that was the only way she got through the three years that my dad was overseas (WWll) after they were married, when he was in the war.....so, the nurse goes in to check and there was mom, sitting, playing the piano...the tears running down her cheeks...the nurse started crying because when she checked to see the song my mom was playing it was one entitled 'Without Him'......now the nurse thought it was about my dad but it's really a song talking about Jesus.....I would imagine in my mom's case she was probably crying about both.....poor wee mom...
Yesterday...I did nothing, absolutely, positively nothing... I realized after a very poor night of very little sleep that I was in a tremendous amount of pain...everywhere....and whenever I got up to do anything, it just made it worse.....it made me extremely fatigued....so..I rested. Maya called to say that she had tipped the canoe she had been in with two other people....she said the water was freezing...I encouraged her to have a nice warm shower but she didn't have time before lunch to do so...thankfully she wasn't hurt and didn't ruin any of her new clothes or her one pair of running shoes she has with her...she was wearing older clothes and flip flops on her feet.....
Today is just starting.....the pain is manageable so far so maybe I'll get something accomplished! Although I'm not sure what...do you ever have one of those days (I have a lot of them) when you have so many things that you could and should be doing that you end up doing nothing because you can't decide what to do?
Oh dear, I think it's just getting back into the routine of things that's the problem....and if it isn't...well, let's say..that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Have a great weekend, company girls!
Well, it's been some week...good grief!
On Monday we took Maya up to the camp where she'll be spending a lot of her time for the next few months! Poor kid...she was apprehensive but tried not to show it...I'd show you pictures but hubby still hasn't put them on...... I casually said to him the other night...um...do you think you would have time to put my picture gallery back on (from the external hard drive) this evening? He looked at me rather sheepishly and replied...'well, I'm not quite sure how to do that...I think I need to check with James..(son-in-law that took everything off my laptop and put it onto the external hard drive to begin with!)....I was confused...I said 'well, then how come you told him you could put it back on...no problemo!???' Good grief....well, anyways...no pics of Maya looking cautiously pleased to be at her new place. Hopefully this gets worked out very soon!
On Tuesday the other three started off to school...took a pic of that too...wasn't going to given that they're all so darn big now...but one of them said before they left 'aren't you going to take our picture...you always take our picture...it's tradition!' So..I dutifully got the camera out....hopefully you'll see that too...someday.....
Wednesday I went to the dentist...no..not for me..but to watch over grandgirls while eldest daughter had her cleaning and check-up...I will admit to coming away from there quite worn out...where do they get their energy! On the way home I stopped and visited with my mom for awhile........she's doing pretty well most times...but the nurse came to check on her when she didn't show up for lunch one day....she was playing her piano...my mom says that was the only way she got through the three years that my dad was overseas (WWll) after they were married, when he was in the war.....so, the nurse goes in to check and there was mom, sitting, playing the piano...the tears running down her cheeks...the nurse started crying because when she checked to see the song my mom was playing it was one entitled 'Without Him'......now the nurse thought it was about my dad but it's really a song talking about Jesus.....I would imagine in my mom's case she was probably crying about both.....poor wee mom...
Yesterday...I did nothing, absolutely, positively nothing... I realized after a very poor night of very little sleep that I was in a tremendous amount of pain...everywhere....and whenever I got up to do anything, it just made it worse.....it made me extremely fatigued....so..I rested. Maya called to say that she had tipped the canoe she had been in with two other people....she said the water was freezing...I encouraged her to have a nice warm shower but she didn't have time before lunch to do so...thankfully she wasn't hurt and didn't ruin any of her new clothes or her one pair of running shoes she has with her...she was wearing older clothes and flip flops on her feet.....
Today is just starting.....the pain is manageable so far so maybe I'll get something accomplished! Although I'm not sure what...do you ever have one of those days (I have a lot of them) when you have so many things that you could and should be doing that you end up doing nothing because you can't decide what to do?
Oh dear, I think it's just getting back into the routine of things that's the problem....and if it isn't...well, let's say..that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Have a great weekend, company girls!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Letting Go...
Good Morning Company Girls!
Today Is The Last Official Day of Summer Holiday for My Teens!
Tuesday , Lord willing, three of them will get up early...that will be a departure for Emma to be sure who has slept in every day since we came home from Fairhavens til at least noon and most days, except Sunday, til 2p.m. ! They will leave the house at 7:45am and not return until 3 pm.
Maya, the one who is the eldest of the group (in reality Ben is but since he's developmentaly delayed and stuck as an 8 year old the rest of his life, Maya has moved into the eldest spot. I know it doesn't sound nice but it's a reality in this home and family.) Maya, Lord willing, will leave on Monday. The plan is for Hubby and I to take her up to Fairhavens (where our trailer is) with all her earthly possessions...because between Fairhavens and a place called Muskoka Bible Centre..a camp a little further north, those are the places that Maya will live for the next 8 months until the end of April. Of course she's very excited about the possibility of going on her very first plane ride to Costa Rica in January where the team that she's on are suppose to work for the whole month! I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for one of my babies to go that far away from me....but once again, I shall do an emmy award performance...it's all about the acting isn't it, when we're moms......
....have you thought about that...how many times your kids are going through a rough time...whether it's just a scrape on the knee, to giving birth to their first baby.....to moving out on their own to joining a fairly intense profession, to moving thousands of miles away to different time zones or just moving ten minutes away....how often do we put on our game face and plough on..cause that's what our kids are looking for...they're not looking for us to show all the fear and angst in our hearts that we can already see on their faces.....no, they're looking for us to be strong...someone that they can depend on while inside we're ready to scream and hold on to them because we know all those exciting adventures come with situations and decisions that they will be going through without you.....it's called growing up.....most moms have a problem with it...their kids growing up that is...in our family it really depends on the kid....all these times we are called upon to cover our feelings up and put on a solid front, as they say.
Sometimes, kids need to grow up and they don't want to....Maya is one of those kids. Yes, she'd love some of the things of growing up...she'd love to have a boyfriend...something I keep telling her to be patient about...the absolutely best guy for Maya is out there..somewhere...he'll have to be a special guy..someone who doesn't push her to hard...who doesn't expect too much...someone who will love and cherish her for the wonderful person that she is. Maya has a fabulous smile...it lights up a room. She's helpful and capable of so many things. I pray that any guy who comes into Maya's life will truly value her for who she really is....someone very special.
Then again...all my kids are special, each one unique...sometimes I wonder why God chose me to be their mom....it's like he said.....long before I was born...okay Marie, I'm going to give you this great guy to marry and you're going to have a few kids (understatement for me but not for Him)...some of them I will choose special to be born to you, one of them will live with me instead of you, and some I will pick out special to be born to other moms but really, they will live with you...you will be their mom. It will not be an easy mom role...in fact some days will be darn hard and some days you will feel like giving up....you will say you are done....but remember, I am with you, I will uphold you in my right hand, I will shelter you ...and I will give you strength.
Strength to rush a child to the e.r. who just burned her face, strength to comfort a child when his pet dog died, strength to let a child go when they make bad choices, strength to let your child go into the army, strength to let your child meet her birth parent (when every part of you screamed no) strength to go to appointment after appointment with a developmentally delayed child and hear those doctor's words that they'll never get better, strength to let a child go who you know needs this independence to grow but you're not convinced in your heart that she's ready (or maybe you're not ready), strength to go to counselling with a child and you don't know if it's ever going to get better, strength to deal with the repetitive questions, over and over and over, of why a child can't see her birth sister....a situation that was decided by others and you have no control over...a situation that because the child is developmentally three years old, the child will never comprehend.
So, yes, on Monday I'll be needing an extra measure of this strength Lord, because it will be hard ..it will be very hard to look into Maya's face and....let go.
Letting go...I think one of the hardest things a mom has to do.
Today Is The Last Official Day of Summer Holiday for My Teens!
Tuesday , Lord willing, three of them will get up early...that will be a departure for Emma to be sure who has slept in every day since we came home from Fairhavens til at least noon and most days, except Sunday, til 2p.m. ! They will leave the house at 7:45am and not return until 3 pm.
Maya, the one who is the eldest of the group (in reality Ben is but since he's developmentaly delayed and stuck as an 8 year old the rest of his life, Maya has moved into the eldest spot. I know it doesn't sound nice but it's a reality in this home and family.) Maya, Lord willing, will leave on Monday. The plan is for Hubby and I to take her up to Fairhavens (where our trailer is) with all her earthly possessions...because between Fairhavens and a place called Muskoka Bible Centre..a camp a little further north, those are the places that Maya will live for the next 8 months until the end of April. Of course she's very excited about the possibility of going on her very first plane ride to Costa Rica in January where the team that she's on are suppose to work for the whole month! I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for one of my babies to go that far away from me....but once again, I shall do an emmy award performance...it's all about the acting isn't it, when we're moms......
....have you thought about that...how many times your kids are going through a rough time...whether it's just a scrape on the knee, to giving birth to their first baby.....to moving out on their own to joining a fairly intense profession, to moving thousands of miles away to different time zones or just moving ten minutes away....how often do we put on our game face and plough on..cause that's what our kids are looking for...they're not looking for us to show all the fear and angst in our hearts that we can already see on their faces.....no, they're looking for us to be strong...someone that they can depend on while inside we're ready to scream and hold on to them because we know all those exciting adventures come with situations and decisions that they will be going through without you.....it's called growing up.....most moms have a problem with it...their kids growing up that is...in our family it really depends on the kid....all these times we are called upon to cover our feelings up and put on a solid front, as they say.
Sometimes, kids need to grow up and they don't want to....Maya is one of those kids. Yes, she'd love some of the things of growing up...she'd love to have a boyfriend...something I keep telling her to be patient about...the absolutely best guy for Maya is out there..somewhere...he'll have to be a special guy..someone who doesn't push her to hard...who doesn't expect too much...someone who will love and cherish her for the wonderful person that she is. Maya has a fabulous smile...it lights up a room. She's helpful and capable of so many things. I pray that any guy who comes into Maya's life will truly value her for who she really is....someone very special.
Then again...all my kids are special, each one unique...sometimes I wonder why God chose me to be their mom....it's like he said.....long before I was born...okay Marie, I'm going to give you this great guy to marry and you're going to have a few kids (understatement for me but not for Him)...some of them I will choose special to be born to you, one of them will live with me instead of you, and some I will pick out special to be born to other moms but really, they will live with you...you will be their mom. It will not be an easy mom role...in fact some days will be darn hard and some days you will feel like giving up....you will say you are done....but remember, I am with you, I will uphold you in my right hand, I will shelter you ...and I will give you strength.
Strength to rush a child to the e.r. who just burned her face, strength to comfort a child when his pet dog died, strength to let a child go when they make bad choices, strength to let your child go into the army, strength to let your child meet her birth parent (when every part of you screamed no) strength to go to appointment after appointment with a developmentally delayed child and hear those doctor's words that they'll never get better, strength to let a child go who you know needs this independence to grow but you're not convinced in your heart that she's ready (or maybe you're not ready), strength to go to counselling with a child and you don't know if it's ever going to get better, strength to deal with the repetitive questions, over and over and over, of why a child can't see her birth sister....a situation that was decided by others and you have no control over...a situation that because the child is developmentally three years old, the child will never comprehend.
So, yes, on Monday I'll be needing an extra measure of this strength Lord, because it will be hard ..it will be very hard to look into Maya's face and....let go.
Letting go...I think one of the hardest things a mom has to do.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Part of a Week in the Life of....
Well, it's been a very busy week....hubby still hasn't had the time to put my pics on the laptop so no pics to show you. On Monday, I took Megan for her annual check up with the pediatrician.....he's at the children's hospital in the city, so it's a bit of a trek to get there. He decided that Megan needed some bloodwork and they prefer having it done at the hospital so we had to stay for that...after waiting for an hour and a quarter to have our number called, they brought Megan in to draw her blood. Megan's never had that done before so understandably went into a panic...the tears flowed, but through constant talking to her and making her always look at me and not at the needle..we got through it.
Then I raced home...dropped Megan off and then picked up Emma and arrived a few moments late for her appointment at the high school with the Vice-Principal. She wanted to talk to Emma about this years classes and about Emma's need to smarten up and perform better. I'm afraid I wasn't very impressed with the v.p., her little speech lacked any kind of substance....Emma just said yes, yes, and yes..and the v.p. said..well, I hope you have a good year! Then she sent her to the guidance office to change her classes a bit....
...so..after leaving the house at 10 a.m., I didn't return til 4 p.m........I would say that maybe one hour in total was actually any interaction with other people...the rest was driving and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...I was glad I had brought along a book to read!
Tuesday was a little more relaxing...went to visit my mom for a bit then on to my massage appointment.....I have this little problem with my muscles...they don't work very well and the doctor says I need regular massage....my massage therapist and I have become friends (I like to think)..we chat about everything..so it's kind of like massage and friend therapy at the same time! It was a lovely 45 minutes!
Wednesday, I woke Maya early because we still haven't found a bathing suit for her...had to go to a mall that's twice as far away as the one I usually got to but we had success and Maya got her bathing suit! We were also looking for hair clips...ones that were recommended to use to 'wrap' her hair around her head each night before she uses her hair cover...no luck with that but did find the hair conditioner to use on her hair that was recommended...on sale! Bonus! Maya didn't end up getting her hair cut last Friday...the hairdresser said that she'd find it much higher maintenance to cut it short...she'd have to flat iron it every few days and do all manner of stuff to it just to keep it looking nice. She ended up relaxing it and trimming off the dead ends.....Maya, although initially was disappointed that she didn't get it cut short, in the end was pleased with the results and has been finding it fairly easy to look after this week. It really does help to have a professional look after these things!
Today, I hope to go and see my mom then return in time for my grandgirls to come for a visit! Eldest daughter has to take her son (my grandson) for an appointment in the big city of Toronto...knowing traffic she wont return til early evening. Emma and Maya are going out with a friend in the afternoon...then Emma, and hubby and I have a counselling appointment this evening. I hope we get a few situations that have arisen this past week ironed out!
Tomorrow....well, tomorrow is the dreaded shopping day.....I know, I know...it's all in the attitude...well, when it comes to shopping for clothing my attitude distinctly sucks! Actually, there is some shopping I actually like...such as meandering through Home Sense...or places like that....or put me in a fabric store looking at the quilting fabrics...I find that very peaceful...but clothing shopping....ugh.....but I've put it off long enough....school commences on Tuesday and I can't have my kids looking like ragamuffins!
Have a good day!
Marie
Then I raced home...dropped Megan off and then picked up Emma and arrived a few moments late for her appointment at the high school with the Vice-Principal. She wanted to talk to Emma about this years classes and about Emma's need to smarten up and perform better. I'm afraid I wasn't very impressed with the v.p., her little speech lacked any kind of substance....Emma just said yes, yes, and yes..and the v.p. said..well, I hope you have a good year! Then she sent her to the guidance office to change her classes a bit....
...so..after leaving the house at 10 a.m., I didn't return til 4 p.m........I would say that maybe one hour in total was actually any interaction with other people...the rest was driving and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...I was glad I had brought along a book to read!
Tuesday was a little more relaxing...went to visit my mom for a bit then on to my massage appointment.....I have this little problem with my muscles...they don't work very well and the doctor says I need regular massage....my massage therapist and I have become friends (I like to think)..we chat about everything..so it's kind of like massage and friend therapy at the same time! It was a lovely 45 minutes!
Wednesday, I woke Maya early because we still haven't found a bathing suit for her...had to go to a mall that's twice as far away as the one I usually got to but we had success and Maya got her bathing suit! We were also looking for hair clips...ones that were recommended to use to 'wrap' her hair around her head each night before she uses her hair cover...no luck with that but did find the hair conditioner to use on her hair that was recommended...on sale! Bonus! Maya didn't end up getting her hair cut last Friday...the hairdresser said that she'd find it much higher maintenance to cut it short...she'd have to flat iron it every few days and do all manner of stuff to it just to keep it looking nice. She ended up relaxing it and trimming off the dead ends.....Maya, although initially was disappointed that she didn't get it cut short, in the end was pleased with the results and has been finding it fairly easy to look after this week. It really does help to have a professional look after these things!
Today, I hope to go and see my mom then return in time for my grandgirls to come for a visit! Eldest daughter has to take her son (my grandson) for an appointment in the big city of Toronto...knowing traffic she wont return til early evening. Emma and Maya are going out with a friend in the afternoon...then Emma, and hubby and I have a counselling appointment this evening. I hope we get a few situations that have arisen this past week ironed out!
Tomorrow....well, tomorrow is the dreaded shopping day.....I know, I know...it's all in the attitude...well, when it comes to shopping for clothing my attitude distinctly sucks! Actually, there is some shopping I actually like...such as meandering through Home Sense...or places like that....or put me in a fabric store looking at the quilting fabrics...I find that very peaceful...but clothing shopping....ugh.....but I've put it off long enough....school commences on Tuesday and I can't have my kids looking like ragamuffins!
Have a good day!
Marie
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