Ramblings.....

A lot of things going through my mind today ~ for a number of weeks I've been having a problem with my stove...it's only 4 years old and we paid a lot of money for it...so this kind of bothered me that it should be acting up. Finally, one day last week, after I used it, the clock panel started flashing like it was on steroids and after frantically pushing everything on the touch pad it finally shut off...completely....nothing displayed...unless you opened the oven door...then the clock came back on....to make a very long story, short....I'm on first name basis with the repair guy now..his name is Dan...he's been to my house three time....the first time he thought he had diagnosed the problem, the second time, replaced a very expensive part and declared it fixed...the third time , he came back because after I used it, it was obviously not fixed! So, tomorrow he's suppose to come back because yesterday, he decided that he finally figured it out....biggest difficulty is...he couldn't hook the stove back up.....no stove for three days....now, normally this might not be a problem...my teens are fairly self sufficient at scrounging up stuff and hubby is suppose to be home tonight so maybe he'll bar-b-que....but, you see, the grandkids are visiting...4 of them.....that means I have 8 kids in the house wanting food.....dear Lord....

anyways, we will survive and this too shall pass.

I was thinking about my dad today....it's getting better, he's not constantly in my mind anymore...I can go to the cemetery and not cry every time.....I was thinking today at how brave my sister is. You see, a week before my dad died, he had a mild heart attack....mild for others but he only had 29% function left to begin with..so mild was significant. When I arrived at the hospital, dad looked pretty bad...in fact, it scared the heck out of me. My sister and mom had been there for a couple of hours before me, and mom was getting tired so sister took her to get some supper and then on home. Dad was in a lot of distress, only semi-conscious, and very restless in his bed. I decided I would stay longer...
......as the evening progressed, and he was still very restless, I was concerned and checked with the nurse..she said that was very normal after a heart attack.....dad kept moving his legs and his arms, trying and sometimes succeeding, pulling his leads off......it became quite late...I didn't want to leave him....people called, encouraging me to go home, nurses said they'd watch him...I finally decided to leave his side....I leaned over to kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him...I found myself calling him daddy...which took me aback, I hadn't called him that in years...but I did....and I cried and I begged him not to leave me...oh, I was very selfish....he had been through so much but there I was saying..'daddy, please don't leave...I don't want you to go'.

A week later, dad was having more chest pains, this time it was just my sister with him....she was very brave...a lot braver than I...she told him that it was okay, that if he had to leave, that it was okay......and he left.

I don't know why I was thinking of that today...maybe having so many in the house at one time just gets your mind going in different directions.....maybe I'm just tired.....maybe I'll be glad when summer is done and the 'routine of life' starts up again, maybe, just maybe, I was reminded because last night I was having chest pain and going down my left arm....and for my kids reading this, don't have a cow...I just picked up Afton when I shouldn't have....don't tell dad...he'll have a fit! It does get your mind wondering though when you have pain like that...it also reminds you of other things I guess.

That's all...better go figure out what to feed the masses!