A Mothers Heart

I went to see my son in jail last night.

I haven't heard anything from my son since December 19th. He didn't show up for Christmas dinner....he didn't call us on New Year's Eve....no matter how drunk he gets, he always calls on New Years Eve....but he didn't.

I tried calling the only phone number I had for him...it's the number of the woman that he lives with....she said he wasn't there...she said she didn't know when he'd be back home.

I tried her again and again...no answer...voice mail...I left messages.....

Yesterday, the mother of my son's son contacted me...she said...'I know where Corey is'

I said 'where'

'He's in jail.'

I said to my daughter yesterday morning...I think Corey might be in jail...I think I should call this guy that I know...he's a cop...maybe he could find out for me......

A mother knows when something is wrong.....

So, yesterday I went to jail...and saw my son....

His first words were...' Don't worry...I'm fine'

He and 'the woman' got drunk on December 20th, not unusual,they always do, they fought, they always do, he broke the television and probably hit her...she probably hit him back....she called the cops....he was arrested..

His 'video hearing' is tomorrow...he will be sentenced on Thursday....not sure if he'll stay in the local jail or go to one of he bigger prisons, farther away...

The biggest despair is this...when he finally gets out again...he'll probably return to her...he has no place else to go...he can't look after himself...whatever money he makes at odd moving jobs, either goes to drink or drugs.....he'd never have anything to pay his rent...to buy food....it's a life of despair..really....he's 27 years old...and this is his life.....

This is what saddens a mothers heart....