Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Gentle Heart




Maya is struggling....of all my kids I think that she is the most sensitive....the one that struggles with her emotions...they overwhelm her and she becomes a puddle. My heart aches for her.
Maya has called many times since she's been away....most times she is in a good mood ...doing well....but the closer that we come to Christmas the harder it is for her....last night, as soon as I picked up the phone...before I even said a word...I could hear her tears...her voice quivering....she's dreading Christmas without her grandfather....I am too, but when I allow myself to think about it it just makes me really sad, and sometimes tears will fall......she's also worried about her grandmother...worried that she'll go for another walk, get lost again or even worse, have an accident....
it's really hard to comfort your child when they're so far away, to reassure them that it will be okay...we will watch grandma, the weather's getting colder...she wont go wandering in the cold weather (we hope)....yes, we agree, Christmas will be different, no, it wont be the same....
...you hear the tears, the words seem inadequate, you speak softly, calmly...all the while your heart is breaking too....but you're a mom and you try to be strong...because that's what they're looking for, that's what they need.....
...she wants to go to the cemetery when she gets home at Christmas, she wants to see the gravestone.....I can understand that because in comparison to my siblings, I go there often...but I know Maya and I know that it will turn her into a puddle...
she ends the call by saying how much she loves me and how much she loves her dad...good words to hear from a teenager....
Maya's a big girl with a gentle heart....easily wounded....
parenting...it doesn't get easier as they get older, does it.....

2 comments:

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

praying for Maya - may the Lord send her comfort and peace.

joyceandnorm said...

It sure doesn't get any easier. You sure have a lot of different personalities over there.