Yea Mom!

We're up at the trailer this week...trying to squeeze in a week or two of rest......but...before we could actually get going, we had to come back down to the city....a 2-1/4 hour drive.....youngest daughter, who has cardiac issues needed to have her annual check-up....it was suppose to happen on May 11th...but on that day we buried my dad. When specialists reschedule appointments..well, you don't really argue.....hubby had to come down on the same day to do his very last class for this semester...the final exam......so, early yesterday morning, we left the oldest two behind and brought the youngest two and made the trek down.

It ended up being a full day....going to the children's hospital for the ecg and check-up....which she came through with flying colours..the doctor was extremely pleased.....then onto the car repair shop where they replaced my one front headlight ...and what a lovely treat...when I asked them how much I owed...they just waved me off and said 'nothing'...see...there are nice people left in this world!

Back at home, we had to make a quick trip to the drug store and the hardware store...grabbed some subs for our supper....raced back home....inhaled the subs and ran out the door to drop hubby off at his class....teacher mustn't be late you know.......than I went over to eldest daughter's house and dropped off the two youngest so I could go see that lady at the top of the screen...my mom.

She's been at a rehab place for the last two weeks...recovering from a fall where she fractured her pelvis. They had a meeting on Monday morning...they asked my mom....'well, do you need our help getting in and out of bed and toileting?', no, she says...'well, how about getting washed and dressed....do we help you with that?'...no, she says.....'well, how about getting down to the dining room for meals...do we help you with that........no, she says....then the lady asking the questions says.....well, then..what are we doing for you?....my mom just smiled.

My mom is a very stubborn Irish woman......she wouldn't give into this fracture....she kept pushing herself..doing the exercises...I think at the age of 84-1/2 that she's just amazing...so instead of staying there 6-8 weeks they say she can come home on the 9th of August...just 4 weeks after going there! It will be so great to see her back at her retirement home...we're all looking forward to it immensely!

So, we had a nice visit....she couldn't remember that she was getting to go home early but she was thrilled when I told her...but that's okay...I got to tell her again....she said at one point with lip trembling that she was glad dad wasn't here to see her like this....we joked about how he'd be getting after her for falling.......but, she's right he would have been distressed...but he also would have been very proud of her.....just as I am.

Way to go mom...ya' did great!

Ramblings.....

A lot of things going through my mind today ~ for a number of weeks I've been having a problem with my stove...it's only 4 years old and we paid a lot of money for it...so this kind of bothered me that it should be acting up. Finally, one day last week, after I used it, the clock panel started flashing like it was on steroids and after frantically pushing everything on the touch pad it finally shut off...completely....nothing displayed...unless you opened the oven door...then the clock came back on....to make a very long story, short....I'm on first name basis with the repair guy now..his name is Dan...he's been to my house three time....the first time he thought he had diagnosed the problem, the second time, replaced a very expensive part and declared it fixed...the third time , he came back because after I used it, it was obviously not fixed! So, tomorrow he's suppose to come back because yesterday, he decided that he finally figured it out....biggest difficulty is...he couldn't hook the stove back up.....no stove for three days....now, normally this might not be a problem...my teens are fairly self sufficient at scrounging up stuff and hubby is suppose to be home tonight so maybe he'll bar-b-que....but, you see, the grandkids are visiting...4 of them.....that means I have 8 kids in the house wanting food.....dear Lord....

anyways, we will survive and this too shall pass.

I was thinking about my dad today....it's getting better, he's not constantly in my mind anymore...I can go to the cemetery and not cry every time.....I was thinking today at how brave my sister is. You see, a week before my dad died, he had a mild heart attack....mild for others but he only had 29% function left to begin with..so mild was significant. When I arrived at the hospital, dad looked pretty bad...in fact, it scared the heck out of me. My sister and mom had been there for a couple of hours before me, and mom was getting tired so sister took her to get some supper and then on home. Dad was in a lot of distress, only semi-conscious, and very restless in his bed. I decided I would stay longer...
......as the evening progressed, and he was still very restless, I was concerned and checked with the nurse..she said that was very normal after a heart attack.....dad kept moving his legs and his arms, trying and sometimes succeeding, pulling his leads off......it became quite late...I didn't want to leave him....people called, encouraging me to go home, nurses said they'd watch him...I finally decided to leave his side....I leaned over to kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him...I found myself calling him daddy...which took me aback, I hadn't called him that in years...but I did....and I cried and I begged him not to leave me...oh, I was very selfish....he had been through so much but there I was saying..'daddy, please don't leave...I don't want you to go'.

A week later, dad was having more chest pains, this time it was just my sister with him....she was very brave...a lot braver than I...she told him that it was okay, that if he had to leave, that it was okay......and he left.

I don't know why I was thinking of that today...maybe having so many in the house at one time just gets your mind going in different directions.....maybe I'm just tired.....maybe I'll be glad when summer is done and the 'routine of life' starts up again, maybe, just maybe, I was reminded because last night I was having chest pain and going down my left arm....and for my kids reading this, don't have a cow...I just picked up Afton when I shouldn't have....don't tell dad...he'll have a fit! It does get your mind wondering though when you have pain like that...it also reminds you of other things I guess.

That's all...better go figure out what to feed the masses!

Dignity~

"Gabe's mom says the first twenty years are all about charm. From twenty to forty, it's about beauty. Forty to sixty is the contentment season, and then sixty to eighty are the dignity years."

Good Morning Company Girls!

As I pondered this quote yesterday.....it made me smile.....I've had mixed feelings about having my sixtieth birthday this November... sixty sounds so old .....but dignity sounds quite lovely...has a nice ring to it....I'm unsure of whether I can pull it off....but it's worth a try!

The book that I got the quote from was just a little book that I found on a discount table....in fact, I think I bought it with someone else in mind but ended up reading it myself...and even though it was just a little fiction diddy...it had some nuggets in it that I truly found touching my heart...don't you just love little surprises like that! Another quote was a paraphrase of a scripture verse in Matthew 11 ~

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

~Learn the unforced rhythms of grace~ oh my, now that really spoke to my heart....doesn't that just impress you with dignity ?

I truly need a real rest these days...and I realized that it has to come from within...starting in my heart......

...if we keep on chasing after rest in all the wrong places.....going different places, doing restful things, being with certain people (or not being with certain people) then we're really just chasing after the soap bubble that a child blows into the air....we can't really catch them can we, as they float so high and lazily away from our reach.....the true rest that we are yearning for, searching for, trying to attain, would not be there even if we were able to reach it with our fingertips....because it's all surface, it's all so elusive.....and even a really good sleep or nap does not provide the rest that we are desperately needing at this point in our lives....

.....instead of me railing against God and my 'lot in life'....I need to realize and accept that he's just writing a new history in my life....something that I need to move with , gracefully and with dignity~

who knew that a little discounted fiction book could make me see all that!

When I rail against what plan God has for me...it's exhausting...I am weary.....okay the constant physical pain I have has a lot to do with it all but I know, that what I really have to work on is my heart. I can't change the physical pain ...it's always there, it always will be there (something to look forward to in heaven...no pain...what a concept!)....but....I can work on my heart...and maybe coming into my sixtieth birthday.....I'll be able to do it with dignity.

Things.........

Here's my wee mom....this very stubborn Irish lady decided to go for a walk while I was away at the trailer....it was quite a significant walk...she was determined to get to the Winners store...she was bored and wanted to buy a blue t-shirt...and a shower cap.....well, after walking a few kilometres, her hip cracked and down she went...fortunately, right in front of the fire station...ambulance was called...she insisted that she was fine..just needed to get her 'sea legs'...but after a trial walk, she accepted the fact that maybe it should be exrayed...fractured pelvis! So, she's been in the hospital for the past week...nothing they can really do...just has to knit back together itself....speaking of knitting...thought I'd take some to her...she's sooooooooo bored......today, they're suppose to take her to a convalescent home for rehab.....I hope it wont be too long before she's back in the Retirement Home.....





Here's sweet Jairus...with his quilt...finally done...I started it last September and I'm afraid it took me about three months longer than usual to get it done....I think he's pleased...

This is a pic of the whole thing...I finished sewing the binding on at the trailer and asked our next door trailer neighbor if I could lay it on her hammock to take the picture...she so ever nicely said...'sure'...

Now if I could just get the time to get the next top done, I'd be happy! It's quite unsettling not to have a quilt to sit down and relax with....and with my life right now I need lots of relaxation.....

all for today!

there is hope, isn't there?

Okay, so I'm sitting at my trailer, wondering what the heck I'm doing here...it's stinking hot...which is fine if you have air conditioning...which...I'm very glad and appreciative that we do as the temperature mounts up to the 90's!! So...what is the problem....everyone wants to be in the air conditioning..which is similar to when it rains when you're camping...everyone wants to be in the trailer.....6 large bodies in a small 29' trailer is not comfortable.....whereas, a scant 2-1/4 hour drive from here is my house...albeit, not a huge house...not even a large house but..significantly bigger than an 8 x 29' trailer!

We have our trailer at a bible conference grounds...there are bible study services every morning, there are activities for our teens every morning and evening ( a big selling point to be here ) , people are friendly...over the years we've made some friends and acquaintances that we see every year.....in fact, last night hubby and I visited with a couple that live about 20 minutes from us at home, but we never see...but we usually visit with once a year when they're here... go figure!

Eldest son is being interviewed tomorrow for a teaching position.....in Saskatchewan.....I'm of two minds on this....I really want him to get a teaching position, anywhere really to get his foot in the door of his teaching career that he's worked so very hard to attain for the last 14 years....but...Saskatchewan...really people...do you know how far that is from Ontario!!!

So, as we sit here, in our little tin box......I ponder these things...amongst others.....will #2 son ever get his life turned around, will #3 son rejoin the army or spend then rest of his life installing hot tubs (which is most excellent right now cause it pays the bills and puts gas in his truck...but will he be satisfied with that long term...I think not).....will #2 daughter get a job real soon....I sure hope so ...it really becomes difficult to pay the rent and other bills when very little money is coming in.....will #3 daughter get a job soon...yes, I know that she just graduated highschool...but the longer she sits around the harder it will be...we've tried to convince her that that part of her life is done but I don't think she's convinced yet...will #4 daughter still carry on about moving out when we get home or will the counselling work.....I could say more about each of my kids but they'd probably kill me......at least be slightly upset with me.....

I've heard people say that their parenting is done when the kids become adults....I don't agree...it's just different....the parenting we still do with the teens at home is way different to the parenting we do with the kids no longer at home...but it still is...parenting that is.....just different.....

so, that's my thots for today......speaking of parenting...I miss my dad...a lot.....wouldn't mind some parenting from him right now.....have to wait til I see him again......when he gives me that big hug and says 'Hi, Marie'...with that upward lilt to his voice that I can still hear.....lookin' forward to that day.....hope I see all my kids there too.....is that too much for a mom to hope for ..I don't know.....

Maya Graduates!

Good Morning Company Girls!


Maya Graduated from high school this week!!!!!!

We are so proud of her! She worked very hard and she even surprised herself and us by winning an award! It was the Kinsmen Award for Academic improvement in Special Services...and it came with a $200 cheque....she was soooooooooo excited!

For the past 4-1/2 months Maya did her last semester of high school in a co-op placement ...the first half in a classroom setting at one of the hospitals and the second half actually in one of the hospital getting practical training in an E.A. (Environmental Aid) and a porter...she loved being a porter...the E.A.,...not so much..but she did very well. Plus, she had to take a bus, for the very first time, making connections and transfers and go clear across the other side of the city...about an hour bus ride....I think she was more scared of that but in no time she caught on and was at ease with it. Her shifts were at different times..some were even at 6 a.m.! Which meant she had to get up at 4 a.m., to catch the 5 a.m., to get there by 6 a.m. I didn't hear her complain once!

The trouble is..now she must find a job..we were hoping that she'd do well enough that the hospital would hire her...but there are no available porter positions at this time.....plus..the longer she's away from the hospital, the harder it will be to get a job there. Good grief...always something.

Emma continues to give us a significant amount of grief but she did see the counsellor last week...one positive step.

So, today we plan on going to the trailer for a week...the weather is suppose to be pretty good next week so I hope the kids co-operate and the week goes well.

Hope you all have a wonderful week!