Wednesday, January 20, 2010


This is Emma. Emma is sixteen. Emma doesn't want to live here anymore. Emma wants to leave.
Do we beat Emma -No.
Do we deprive her of food - No.
Does she have to share a bedroom with other siblings - No.
Does she have a cell phone, mp3 player, DS player - Yes.
Does she have clothing, makeup - Yes.
Does she have parents who love her and care about her - Yes.
So....why does Emma want to leave home? Social life...she has going to friends homes who live in one of the highest drug areas in the city (since Emma had a try at that last summer, I drag my feet on that idea) hanging out at the mall, wandering aimlessly being tempted to shoplift, cause she hasn't any money to buy hanging outside in the smoking area at school, with her friends cause her checkup at the respirologist showed a huge deficit in her breathing ability (she has asthma plus she had 2/3 of her right lung removed 5 years ago because of a benign tumour) they just don't smoke cigarettes out in the smoking area...if you get my drift......or, go to the parties of her friends where the beer cases are stacked up and the kids eyes all look bleary (facebook pics).....
So...what's a parent to do...give up...abdicate parental responsibilities..let her move in with her friend and find out what life is really like?
That would be sooooo easy right now because I am sooooo weary.
As my son has mentioned a few times lately....'mom, you're gettin' too old for this job'........
I think he may be right.


Auntie Lauren said...

This post upsets me more than people realize. You might as well put a picture of me when I was that age up there. Emmas a good kid and shes just acting out- as I did. I wish I had the outcome for you mom. All the answers as to what to do with her. I feel guilty when I hear that she does things like that to you and dad. I see so much of myself in her it scares me alot. In a couple of years she will be fine, it's just these next few that are going to be jumping hurtles.
Emma has these problems and there is nothing I can do. Who am I to say? But I will help you as much as I can. Because I am worried if I dont give her the attention she wants or feels like she needs, she going to hurt outself out of spite for attention. I think even simply involving her in more things might help, like painting classes etc but I know all that costs money.
You spoke about a "heavy heart" the other day, this lays huge on mine. The sister side and the quilty side.

J9 said...

Unfortunately, it's a stage we ALL go through at that age. It's horrible on the parents, and I'm sure the pay-back is coming my way when Connor gets into his teens. Emma will figure it out, in a couple of years she'll look around her and realize just how good she's got it. In the mean time, we'll be praying - for her, and for you guys!