Seems to be working.....

Well, my test worked, so let's try a whole post....:-). !

I noticed the date of my last post and yes it has been awhile...sometime in February, I believe.

Life has been on a roller coaster .....I HATE roller coasters....in fact I'm not a fan of any amusement rides at all....but I digress.

There have been a few good things happening....thus the roller coaster.....hubby told me that he'd have to go to California for a week in March...that definitely wasn't the good thing.....I was in despair, I was concerned that Maya would have a relapse and I'd be the only one here to cope with it. The good news is that she didn't! Yea! We're not quite sure why she hasn't had a relapse since February, believe me, we ARENT questioning it.....we are quite enjoying it.....we aren't sure if it's the antidepressant that she's on, or that she's come out of the fall winter time frame ( one doctor wondered if it had something to do with SAD...Seasonal Affect Disorder....so we spent a fortune on an energy light for her daily use.....she was on two supplements that stimulate brain activity....now we're down to one ...( they're really expensive, but the doctor feels as long as she uses the light, it's okay to be on the one), we also started her on an injection that she gets every three months to regulate her hormones....another thing that seemed to be affected by her illness.....it could be any of them, only one of them, or all of them....we, and the doctors really have no idea, but we'll take it!

Hubby also took me to Bermuda for a few days, not that we could afford it but I think he figured because of what we had been through, that we couldn't afford not to! So , we did! If you've never been to Bermuda, than you're missing out....it's a tiny island , packed with numerous things to do...we've been there three times now and still haven't done or seen everything, and it's breathtakingly beautiful. Before we got to Bermuda, like the week before...hubby sent me an email asking/telling me that he had to go to Florida for work, the week after we returned and did I want to go with him.....at first I thought, good heavens, how would we ever do that? ...with the kids at home, I mean.....so, hubby checked with the caregiver that was staying here while we went to Bermuda, and YES!, she could stay the following week also, we were thrilled. I was really looking forward to it because even though Bermuda is beautiful, you're so busy doing the touristy stuff that you never really rest.....in Florida, hubby had to be in at the office , all day, every day, so guess what I did? I rested!!

It was wonderful....he would leave the hotel around 7:30 and not return til 5:30-6:00 pm( that part wasn't wonderful, but acceptable given the circumstances) throughout the day I could read, quilt ( I finally got the hand stitching done on a quilt I've been working on for THREE years!!!) , watch tv, go for walks, or just sitting by the pool.....

It was wonderful......by the third day, the day before we were suppose to come home, I realized just how rested and relaxed I had become.....I wasn't even tired during the day!....I'm always tired during the day...I wake up tired!

It was a wonderful relaxing holiday......I haven't felt that good in years! Unfortunately, we had to come home and within a day, all the physical symptoms that I experience daily , were back.....I didn't even realize, until I had my rest that these symptoms that I experienced could go away! They've been with me for so long that I had just accepted them as being part of me, part of my makeup so to speak......

Unfortunately, this just reinforces to hubby and I that we have to do something about the kids we still have at home...not sure what we can do.....there still doesn't seem to be anything available for them, but it sure does make you realize that all this can't be good for our health and something has to be done.

One thing that we have made a plan about is setting up an area downstairs, where the kids have their bedrooms....kind of like a common area...with a loveseat, chairs, television, their Wii system, DVD player and movies.....their own entertainment area.... We hope to get it done this summer with eldest son Ryan helping, and perhaps some electrical help from son in law James....right now, the set up is this....everyday/evening.....the three kids take over the living room where the larger tv, Wii, DVD player, surround sound system.... is situated, and hubby and I are forced into watching tv in our bedroom, sitting on our bed....which when you start off doing isn't too bad but by evening end, it's uncomfortable ....plus there are some evenings that we'd like to watch a movie ourselves, on the larger set, a little more comfortably , without three other adults sitting with us....you know....some us time. Also, it's difficult to entertain guests/friends, without making them spend the evening in their bedrooms.....I mean, it gets pretty bad when you have to ask them to leave the room because you want private time with yourselves, or to have a conversation with a friend or other relative, and all you get is dirty looks....like we have some nerve!

So, hopefully this will help some....now, to just get the job done....before Ryan can come and put up some walls, we have to clear out a ton of stuff....and I mean ton! We've been in this house almost 35 years and our basement shows it! A definite purging is required! Personally, I'll be so glad to get rid of the 'stuff' and get whatever's left over organized...I envision shelves of labelled bins and areas , so that when I need, say 'autumn' decor, that I can just go to the exact spot, retrieve the correct bin, with ease , and without the help of other strong, able bodied people and actually get the seasonal items out and displayed before the season actually passes. I'm one of the decorators , and I use the term loosely, that has marvellous plans, in my head...before the season or holiday occurs, but by the time I locate such decor, wait for hubby to move multiple stacks of boxes and bins to retrieve the said decor ...well I'm afraid the season/holiday has passed and I have missed out again on having THE perfect Better Homes and Gardens house for the season/holiday! Or...even worse, I go out and buy NEW decor cause it's just easier that way...and definitely not cheaper!!!

I know...a definite dilemma in the grand scene of world problems, but what I think it really comes down to, and just let me put my psychobabble hat on for a minute....is control.....I don't have control over my life ( who does) but over one daughter being pregnant and homeless, one daughter having psychotic breaks, one with the body of a nineteen year old but the mind of a four year old, that drives me crazy, one son that shows up drunk at my house and terrorizes said developmentally delayed kids when I'm not at home, one husband that has a digestive disease (Crohns), one elderly mother, with dementia, who I feel guilty for not visiting more often.....and three adult kids , who will probably live with us forever because there aren't any facilities for DD adults who have various stages of developmental delays and other factors such as Maya's psychotic breaks, and Megan's serious heart problems!

So, if I can at least 'control' all the 'stuff' downstairs, then maybe that little part of my life can have some harmony and peace....does it sound right to you or just really sad......I mean sad not in an unhappy way, I mean like , pathetic....oh, well...pathetic it is then!

Have a good week!




~ Marie