Mothering

Good Morning Company Girls!

Ya, it's me again...I haven't fallen off the face of the earth just yet...but somedays I wish I could....

Pretty well all of my married life I've been a mom.....we were married in '73 and eldest daughter was born in '74.....and so it started.....in '80, my brother and sister- in-law asked me to look after their little guy, 3 months old.....so every work day til he was 18 months old (and mom had the next babe) little Daniel was part of our lives....and I became his 'other' mom......in '83 a wee little girl came into our home...her name was Tanya and her mom was a single mom with a lot of problems....every few weeks we'd get a call from the mom...and out Tanya would come...sometimes in the middle of the night, delivered by a good friend....the first time she came I didn't even have a place for her to sleep...we cleared out hubby's dresser drawer, lined it with soft blankets and put her in it....every time Tanya came she looked pale and worried..within a couple of days her cheeks were rosy and her eyes sparkling. It was also at this time that I was introduced to a woman who was a foster parent. Hubby and I decided that if we could help other kids like Tanya then maybe we should become a foster parent.....and we did. That started a stretch of 19 years of fostering approximately 25 kids....some just for a few weeks...some for years.....I learned that there were all different kinds of mothers out there....some to be admired and some gave you nightmares .....some were only thinking of themselves, never putting their childrens' needs before their own....spending their welfare cheques on everything but their children. It opened up our eyes to a whole different world out there.

If you've read my blog at all in the past then you already know that we adopted 7 of the 25 that came through the front door. Every child was a different circumstance....two were new born, one had been in 4 other foster homes before he came to us...and he was 2-1/2 years old! One was almost 4 and another was abandoned at age 3.....one turned 7 the day before she came and one came on her 10th birthday.....we never went into fostering with the idea of adopting....but it does get into the back of your mind when you see these little kids , and they become part of your home, your family...your heart....

It doesn't matter what we do...or they do...or don't do....they are still your kids....you're still their mom.....whether they keep in touch with you all the time....every once in awhile or only in emergency (like when the hospital calls in the middle of the night saying your kid is there). The other night we had a horrible night with Emma.....verbal and physical abuse...no, not from us, from her ..to us....later after she was in bed, I went into speak to her...as I was leaving her, I stroked the side of her face...wondering what happened to that little girl that came when she was just seven, wondering what her future would hold for her.....

I came out of the room and one of the other kids said to me....why...why did you do that...after what she did.....I said ...what, do what....she said....talk to her and stroke the side of her face.....

......because...no matter what she does...I'm still her mother...she's still my daughter....just like the others....no matter what they do....

You start this mothering journey all wide eye and innocent...never dreaming that the hard days will be so hard....that the hurt sometimes will be more than you can bear....you just see this tiny baby...this little child....they burrow into your heart and never leave....it doesn't matter whether you personally gave birth to them or some other woman did....

I've been a mom for thirty-seven years....yes, I've done other things....a statistical typist, invigilator, Creative Circle demonstrator(needlework), a Sunday school teacher and director..a VBS director for 10 years, a foster parent, a babysitter, a fundraiser, ...many positions and some I know i've forgotten ....but I'll never stop being a mom...even though there are days when I don't want to be...when I want to run away from home and if I hear 'mom' called one more time ( especially through the bathroom door) I'll scream.....
.......it's the position you never walk away from, you never get a day off from....that you never stop being.....a mom....plain and simple.



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