Where Else....

'I love you' he says....I lay there, tired....a little confused....hadn't he just said that? As I lay there, befuddled, after a very long day....he says, 'I wanted to say it again...I wanted to thank you for being with me this morning'...

Where else would I be.

He had his surgery last January...surgery that removed about a foot of his bowel, bowel that had been damaged by Crohn's Disease.....bowel that gave him pain and discomfort, that caused him not to want to eat, that had him lose huge amounts of weight in a very short period of time, that caused his skin colouring to be perpetually white, that caused him to have extreme fatigue, emotionally and physically.

We were frightened.....nobody could tell us what was wrong....internal bleeding they said.....they did tests and more tests and more tests......

We tried different diets......nothing really helped, nothing really made a difference....

In the back of our minds was the memory...the memory of another couple, years ago...who just before they were to celebrate their fortieth wedding anniversary, got the dreaded medical pronouncement.....the big C as they call it......they celebrated their fortieth, with their family....and eight months later he was gone...a godly man to meet his maker....

We were fortunate though.....our 'C' wasn't the big one...as they say....but still one that would be with him forever, that he would always be aware of, that he'd always take medication for, that he would always be careful of what he ate, where he went, that a bathroom was always near......

Crohn's is a disease that can come back at any time.....he must have regular check ups, regular colonoscopies...regular appointments with the internist....to check, to see if it was returning....

Yesterday, nine months after his surgery, we awoke early, left the house in semi darkness and travelled back to the hospital.....

The waiting room was cold....why do they keep hospitals so cool....you sit there tense, from nervousness and the temperature, they call his name and off he goes...a brave man, a lot braver than his wife.....

He admits, later on in the day, that the morning reminded him of all the testing that they had done in the year previous, all the uncertainty that we had experienced,...it all came back, swirling around him as he followed the nurse.

Two hours later, my name was called.....he was done, he was ready to go.....he was sitting on the side of the bed, looking pale and sedated.....

The doctor had told him that everything looked good, praise The Lord....they did one small biopsy, but that was just to be sure.....

I kept looking at him, as I drove him home.....he continued to sleep,.....he laid on the bed, when we got home, and continued to sleep.....I made him some tea and toast....he had a little, and continued to sleep......

The day continued on....he slowly started to wake, the colour returned to his face....he was back....back from the ordeal.....he had some soup, we went for a short walk in the October sun......

I was tired...it's tiring watching someone,...watching and waiting....waiting for them to wake up...waiting for them to look like their self again,....so you can breathe.

Forty three years, forty of them married.....

Where else would I be.




~ Marie