Monday, August 5, 2013

Chapter Six

After Tanya went back to her mom, there were two others that we had before Corey came. A little boy named Adam came very late one night.....he had been apprehended from his mother, with whom he lived with along with two older sisters. The sisters were about six and eight years old and they were the primary caregivers of Adam, who was eleven months old. The mother was in a wheel chair having had both legs amputated......I can't remember the reason why they were amputated but before you start to feel sorry for her, you should be aware that she beat her children regularly. Adam would be given a bottle before the girls went to school and when they came home for lunch, another bottle and so on....he never left his crib ALL day. The day after he came , I remember sitting him down on the floor with some toys and was very surprised when he didn't leave the spot I put him in.....when he wanted a toy he would just pivot on his bum to get what he wanted! He was so used to being confined to a small space that he didn't venture any further. The agency required that he be checked out by specialists at McMaster Hospital.....I watched with interest as they completely undressed Adam and laid him on the cold tile floor....they explained that a 'normal' child would immediately move and try to get off the cold tile...but if the child just laid there , and didn't move then it was an indicator of the emotional abuse the child had suffered. Adam was placed on the floor.....he didn't move...he didn't fuss...he just laid there.
I worked hard over the next few months with Adam, teaching him how to crawl, teaching him how to walk, teaching him how to chew food.....he was a lovely child who won the hearts of the whole family. It was with many misgivings that I and a worker visited the mother to talk with her about Adam, to tell her what he was doing, to reacquaint her with her child. We had Adam for about nine months, and we never saw him again. We heard via the newspaper that his mother died of cancer, when Adam was sixteen. I contacted the agency to see if they could help him at all, but they said no....he was too old. Adam was on his own....yes, he still had his older sisters but they had left home long ago . I've often wondered what happened to him.

The next call was for a new born!..yes, fresh from the hospital, just a few days old...this would be a short term placement, as we were just the 'waiting' home.....waiting for the required amount of time to pass and the birth mom to sign the papers so this little one could go to adoptive parents who desperately wanted a child of their own. She was a cutie! Don and I and our oldest two kids (well the only kids we had at the time) fell in love..... Looking after a newborn is hard work, and we hadn't had a new born since Tanya, but I recall that she was a good baby, had difficulty with the formula the hospital put her on so we had to find the correct one but other than that, the 5-1/2 weeks we looked after her were delightful. I remember the worker contacting me and saying that the birth mom was requesting a 'good bye' visit....I was very nervous because I thought that she'd take one look at this little girl and want her back! The mom was a young single woman who had made a mistake but she realized that she couldn't look after this little one and courageously gave her up for adoption. What a brave woman...I admired her...she even sent us a lovely note thanking us for looking after her baby. We received the call just barely 24 hours after the waiting time was up that Amber was going to her adoptive was exciting and sad at the same time...this young couple came to our could tell that they were scared but thrilled to be getting their little girl. I still remember taking them into the bedroom where Amber slept, the anticipation could have been cut with a knife....Amber was on her tummy, (this was before the rule of no tummy sleeping) and when I gently rolled her to her back, I heard a small gasp as they saw their daughter for the first time! We chatted with the new mom and dad, explaining all the quirks of this new little baby...many pictures were taken, good byes were said, tears were shed...and then she was gone. It was so very , very hard. I found that I didn't even want to go in the room where the crib was, we all grieved.....even the kids, we sure did miss her.

It was quite some time before we received our next call.....a call that would change our lives! A call , where the worker started out saying.....'I have a 2-1/2 year old boy, he's in a foster home right now and the foster parents can't handle him.....I must tell you that he's hyper active, he talks all the time, he's accident prone, he won't listen, ....will you take him?' ......'yes, we will' I said.

Corey was coming......oh my.

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