You see, Trinity was coming.....she was due the end of October...I knew I'd be close in getting her quilt made and all ready for her in a little over two months....I was prepared to take some short cuts...I'd chosen a simpler pattern and perhaps it would have some machine stitching as opposed to all hand quilting as I usually do.....I didn't like that, but I was under a time crunch....
I'd had a hard time getting excited about Trinity coming...you see the circumstances surrounding it weren't easy. Trinity's mom was our daughter Emma. Emma's lived on and off the streets, in shelters, with other guys for the last two and a half years..
Trinitys' daddy was some kid she met last November....they really didn't start hanging out til January and by the end of January , Emma was pregnant.
It wasn't a good situation, the father was a bully, an abusive person.....exploding into a rage at a moments notice...but Emma was determined to have a family....not that she didn't love her adoptive family, she did, she said, but something inside her craved to have her very own family,...all hers. That would of course mean a mom, a dad, and a baby...she was determined to stay with this guy to make that happen.
Up until three weeks ago, Emma lived in a shelter, but finally her subsidized housing came through and she got a two bedroom apartment. Things still weren't good, the boyfriend moved in, sometimes he brought his gang with him, they were there at all hours...day and nights sometimes they ate all her food and she went hungry....sometimes they just came and put holes, big holes in her walls...but she still stayed by this guy, her need for her very own family was that great.
This past Monday, I stopped into Emma's place......she was pleased to show me the nursery all set up, she had put the crib together herself. She was smiling, rubbing her tummy and commenting on how active the baby was that day. I left her place feeling encouraged and also feeling the first fluttering of excitement that a new grand baby was coming....I hadn't allowed myself to really have those feelings yet....I was just cautious, not knowing what was going to happen.....would CAS really allow her to keep this baby? I hadn't wanted to get too attached to the idea of having her around, of seeing her grow up.....
On the way home, I picked up a little new born outfit and a box of diapers....better start getting ready for this babe I thought....
Tuesday morning was a lovely sunny day,. I was having a slow start, had made a couple of phone calls, hadn't even gotten dressed yet, when a call interrupted one I was having with Leslie.....it was Corey...oh no, I thot...what does he want now.....
Mom, Emma fell off the ninth floor balcony, the ambulance just took her away, you have to get to the hospital......
I thot he was joking...he was not....I quickly dressed, calling Don at the same time.....we raced to the General Hospital....coming from two different directions.....not know whether our daughter or our grand daughter were still alive.
Upon arrival, a nurse in the emergency said they had rushed Emma to the OR, for an emergency C-section...the babe was in distress and they had to get her out.
Wee Trinity was born at 11:59am, Tuesday, August 12....she was born and she died....the doctors did everything they could to help her...but her little body could not absorb the horrific damage done to her from the impact of a ninety foot drop....
Emma had surprisingly few injuries ...quite a miracle actually.....a broken wrist, a broken clavicle, a fractured pelvis and a scalp laceration. It's a miracle that she was alive.
For the rest of the afternoon, we went back and forth from seeing and holding Trinity, to checking on Emma....our daughters Leslie and Lauren were there too....all experiencing this wee one, this tiny little miracle.....yes she was a miracle ...that she had been formed and grew inside Emma, and she was beautiful....dark black hair covering her tiny head...three pounds she already was...and she still had eleven weeks to go! She would have been a good size, she was and would have been beautiful.
We savoured our time with her, rocking her, singing to her, praying and giving her little kisses good bye.
Little Trinity.....we miss you already.
