A Week in the life of.....

Good Morning Company Girls! It really is morning...the wee hours of....it's 2:57a.m. as I type...I can't sleep...too many things running around in my mind...have you had that happen? You wake up just for a quick run to the bathroom and before you can drift back off to sleep, your brain turns on and dong! ..you're awake...I first saw the time at 1:38 and have been tossing and turning ever since....I struggled with what to do...obviously try to go back to sleep....tried that for about an hour..obviously didn't work....thot about what I could do if I got up....I could work on the hand quilting of a quilt I'm doing...or I could finish cutting out the pieces of a new quilt....it's a big one...12 different materials...all cut in 1-3/4" strips before you cut them into the various lengths that you want....I've already been working on them a total of about 8 hours and still have 4 lengths of material left....or...could watch something on my ipad...with earphones as not to wake someone...or...I could come out to the living room and write this post...as I'm doing....

Last Saturday, I received a call from my quilting friend Carol....her husband has been in the hospital for the last month battling another form of his cancer...poor Dave has been battling it on and off for the last 8 years....they thot he was getting better..even talked about doing rehab with him, but his body couldn't take anymore and he passed away early that morning. Today I attended a memorial service for him....it was very hard...not only seeing my friend go thru this horrible time, but I will admit to feeling a strong emotional impact because this is the first funeral I've attended since my dad died. This service was also held at our church and they even closed with the song 'How Great ThouArt'...which was sung at dad's funeral. By the end I was a blubbering mess.

Earlier in the week, I went to the dentist...I was suppose to go on Thursday but because of the service I changed it to Tuesday. I was on my way there when the traffic slowed to a crawl, it continued on for awhile and then finally cleared. As I left the highway and got on the streets of the city, it slowed again...everyone was trying to get somewhere at the same time....I started to fuss..it was raining and I was concerned about being late and then being even later for quilt class after that. I pulled out my cell phone as we were crawling (I know...against the law around here) and called the dentist office to tell them that I was coming but delayed because of traffic. By the time I got there, I was a good 15 minutes late....I hate being late...I quickly parked on a main thoroughfare, hopped out of the van, ran across the street and into the dentist office....leaving my cell phone in the cup holder on the console in the van. Normally I always have it in my purse. Well, when I came out an hour later I was shocked to see that someone had smashed the divers side window in on my van and reached in an stolen my cell phone....there I stood, in the rain..disbelief allover my face. I reached for my cell in my purse and that's when I realized...'oh no, they not only destroyed my window, they took my phone and I couldn't even call hubby to come and save me.' I went into a nearby building and asked to use there phone...they were very kind and helpful as I was an emotional mess. Hubby came but it took close to an hour...he works a good distance away...I couldn't even drive the van as the drivers' seat was filled with shattered glass and I could only sit there and watch the rain come down, getting the interior all wet and listening to little bits of glass as they sporadically tinkled down from what was left of my window.

Hubby cleaned it up as best as he could and then he drove it home while I took his car. On the way home I stopped at my cell phone provider and was quite dismayed when I found out that they no longer make my phone...good grief I only got it 18 months ago...all they had were models that I find difficult to use (with my handicapped hands)..plus they said that I wasn't eligible for an upgrade yet so that would cost $80 plus the cost of a new phone. I've never paid separately for a new phone..they've always come with the plan...good grief, phones on their own are expensive! So, my mood was even worse by the time I got home...good grief....

I started checking everywhere to find a copy of the same phone that I had but to no avail. Then I was talking to daughter Lauren...she suggested Ebay...so I did...lo and behold they did have some....hubby agreed to me ordering it and now I just have to wait for it to come in the mail. The next day hubby took the van to work, he had already arranged with a car glass place to have a replacement window ready and during his lunch hour he took it in and got it all fixed up.

So...the bottom line is....$300 deductible that we had to pay to get the window fixed thru insurance and $100 for a new phone, (that I hope comes in the mail real soon)...that means $400 that we have to try and find this close to Christmas...not a pretty picture is it....tell me...why do people in our society of today have so little respect and regard for other people's belongings? Just because this person was walking by my van, obviously looking for stuff to steal (and my phone isn't even one of those expensive kind...not a blackberry or an iphone)....it wasn't random, obviously most people don't carry around instruments to break peoples windows with as a matter of course.....but...this person did...not only destroying my window and leaving the interior to get wrecked in the rain but taking my cell..with all my contacts, my calendar with all my appointments and pictures and videos that can't be replaced......why do people think it's alright to do this...what has our society become...very sad....after Joyces' comment on Facebook I realized that I was fortunate that they didn't take my van and destroyed it...I just know that our insurance wouldn't have covered the cost of a new van as nice as the one I have...and I had also been planning to take my Ipad into quilting to show the girls some pictures but at the last minute I didn't...so thankful cause they would have taken that too....

but...as I think of my friend Carol...all that she's been thru in the last month...heck in the last 8 years....and now what she has to look forward to in the coming time...her and her husband had just celebrated their 40th anniversary...I realize that I am blessed......after all...van windows and cell phones..they're just things...material possessions that will some day be a pile of rubble....but family.... relationships with those special people in your life...those can't be replaced.....they are what is important.....

...as we prepare for this Christmas season I hope that I will remember that it's not all the 'stuff' that goes on that is important but it is those relationships, especially with your family that really counts. I always told my kids as they were growing up...look at your brothers and sisters...they'll always be here for you...ya you may bicker and fight from time to time...and from time to time they may let you down, they may disappoint you, they may even anger you...but they are still your family, they'll always be here...friends come and go but family is always there....don't you forget it. As I think of the coming Christmas season, I think in particular of two of my kids who right now are wandering in the wilderness...Corey and Emma...both doing the life that they think they want...both systematically destroying their lives....please pray for my kids...especially those two.....one day I pray that they will also remember that family matters, that family is aways there...no matter what.


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Today....

Today is my sixty-first birthday.....that sounds so very old....but I really don't feel that old, in my heart...but my body has a completely different age! My body feels old as it struggles to keep up...for instance, yesterday I did the vacuuming ....something I've done prit near all my life...my mom started me doing it when I was around ten...the living room had to be thoroughly cleaned every Saturday....that was my job....plus cleaning the bathroom...there was just one small one...for six of us...how did we ever survive....anyways..back to yesterday....I knew we were going away overnite, and I knew that I didn't want to come home today and do it on my birthday....so there I was, yesterday afternoon...vacuuming. It's a job that takes a good hour..by the time you do the floors and then the carpets. When I was done, I was fatigued, very warm and in need of a sit down and a cup of cool water. Years ago, I would have gone on to do the dusting, tidy everything and leave the room sparkling...then move on to the next job! Alas, life is different...something's you have to accept....the cleaning will still be there tomorrow..

But...61....at the risk of sounding maudlin ....I imagine if the good lord gives me a full life that this means I'm about 3/4's thru.....just imagine.....in thinking back on my life...just what have I accomplished in my own little quiet corner of the world...hmmmm..... It does give one pause to stop and reflect....if I had things to do over what , if anything, would I have done differently...or, on the other hand, is there any point to thinking that or do we just look forward, with purpose and choose just how we would like the remaining 1/4 to pan out?

Things to think about as I ponder the day and anticipate a lovely lunch at an old mill with my hubby....have a lovely day!


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Emma

Today is Emma's eighteenth birthday. Truth be told I've been waiting for this day for 90 weeks.... It was around that time that Emma became very difficult if not impossible to live with....someone with some legalease told us that she could do as she wanted basically but we were legally responsible for her actions until she was 18.

Today her birthday is bittersweet because 12 days ago Emma forced our hand and we took her into the shelter in the city to live. My only experience with shelters up to this point had been what i'd seen on t.v. ,......big huge rooms with cots set up.....this shelter is very different. It's run by Good Shepherd ministries....a local organization and it's specifically for youth. The building is a huge house and Emma must share a room with a couple of other girls. They provide food, laundry facilities, television and computers in a library. They even have a curfew.

In the last week that Emma lived with us, we had two meetings with the mental health clinician at the shelter...Emma included....in the meetings we agreed to give her a do over for her curfew...this clinician had two weeks previously set up a curfew schedule of 4 days at 8:30 pm, ( like the police had suggested after she had stayed out all night) and then the 5th night it would be 10 pm. In the following two weeks she never was able to accomplish that and many times she also came home reeking of cigarettes and pot. The day we all agreed to the do over Emma returned home at 11:45pm....obviously she had no intention of doing the do over. The week went downhill from there resulting with me packing her stuff and hubby taking her in to the shelter. Of course she was furious with us...but she went, refusing to speak. I don't think she really thot we'd actually go thru with it. Anyways, she's there....and as I said, it's bittersweet because this is her eighteenth...a birthday that all teens just wait for...( although in actuality I guess 19 might be more important in Ontario because that is the legal drinking age).....I feel somewhat sad this morning, thinking that we really can't have a proper birthday celebration.

Yesterday morning I called into the shelter to see how she was doing...I talked to a support worker and except for going AWOL two nights last week she's been coming in on time and no major behavior problems. Of course they're not aware that she's been stealing clothes from a local store like I know, or that she's been drinking and doing drugs....and 'having relations'......but I know, a mother finds out these things, a mother knows...I knew when my other kids were doing it and I know when Emma is.....I know. It saddens my heart to know that she is systematically destroying herself. The shelter is trying to get her into a youth home that is a little more like home...but they don't have a female spot yet.

The shelter people must have suggested that she call me....and surprise, surprise...she did...we spoke briefly, I asked if she had plans for her birthday. She said no...I asked if she'd like to go out for some supper...she said yes. I was surprised that she agreed....although the cynical side of me wonders if she'll stand me up...just to 'teach me a lesson'.....

I don't know how things are going to end up for Emma, I pray that she starts making some good choices...that she gets off this 'suicide' mission.

I pray that she has a Happy Birthday.


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Have you met my son, the doctor?

Once again, haven't posted for a few weeks but I was determined to post with good news...so here it is!




This is my eldest son, Ryan....tomorrow he is scheduled to graduate with his doctorate in theology ...... Dr. Ryan Wettlaufer....isn't that fabulous! After about 15 years of post secondary education...he's finally done!

It has been a very long journey...in the beginning hubby and I, and some of our kids drove Ryan and his best friend James, out to Briarcrest College, in Sakatchewan to begin 4 years of schooling for his B.A., then we drove him to a little town outside of Boston, to work on his M.A. At Gordon Conwell, two years after that he got married and started his work on his Ph.D. at a college affiliated with the university of Toronto, back up here in Canada....if nothing else our kids get us traveling!

The last number of years have been very long....for Ryan...for his wife Jennifer...and for the rest of us , his family, as we have supported, encouraged and prayed that he would have the success and endurance to finish the race. Over the years Ryan has had to take many different jobs to support his family, to provide for them, especially as it grew to include William and Samuel, their sons. Right now he's been working with a local contractor, building houses...he's learned so much....I don't think there's anything that he can't build or fix...just a couple of weekends ago hubby and Ryan went to our trailer and ripped up the rotten flooring and replaced it with new. Now I know that hubby is capable but his strength is in numbers...he is an accountant...but knowing he had his son beside him to help with the job gave him the confidence to get the job done...and they did a great job!


There have been many times I have felt great pride in all my children...whether it be graduations from high school,college, or the military, or overcoming a difficult life experience....all the different aspects of their lives that have shaped them into the people they are today.....people that we are glad to say....'ya, they're our kids....ya, we were crazy to have nine of them...but we couldn't imagine what our life would have been like without them'......well, maybe a little quieter and without as much drama....

But tomorrow, it's Ryan's day....he's worked hard and long for it.....we are not only proud of his academic accomplishments but we are proud of the man he has become....a husband, a father, a carpenter (just like his papa), ....and a good son.

Well done.....we will watch with joy in our hearts and probably tears running down our cheeks as you walk across the stage tomorrow to claim your prize.....well done!


The pic above is him modeling his cap and gown that he must wear tomorrow...in true mother fashion, I told him that he'd better shave tomorrow!

These are our good friends Dave and Anne.....we first met around eleven or twelve years ago where we camp every summer...a camp that is called Fairhavens Bible Conference grounds.....they have their trailer permanently there also. Dave and Anne are around the same age as hubby and I ...they were also foster parents for a lot of years, just as we were, they have biological children and many adopted kids, just as we do......we have many things in common....there aren't very many couples that can truly relate to what we are going thru with our lifestyle and kids....they are going thru the same thing....it's truly a wonderful friendship.

Last week Dave was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of prostrate cancer.....they'll be going thru more testing...bone scan and cat scan to see if it has spread....please pray that it hasn't ...please pray that it is contained and the doctors can remove ALL of it....

Thanks.

Location:Our Friends

Mothering

Good Morning Company Girls!

Ya, it's me again...I haven't fallen off the face of the earth just yet...but somedays I wish I could....

Pretty well all of my married life I've been a mom.....we were married in '73 and eldest daughter was born in '74.....and so it started.....in '80, my brother and sister- in-law asked me to look after their little guy, 3 months old.....so every work day til he was 18 months old (and mom had the next babe) little Daniel was part of our lives....and I became his 'other' mom......in '83 a wee little girl came into our home...her name was Tanya and her mom was a single mom with a lot of problems....every few weeks we'd get a call from the mom...and out Tanya would come...sometimes in the middle of the night, delivered by a good friend....the first time she came I didn't even have a place for her to sleep...we cleared out hubby's dresser drawer, lined it with soft blankets and put her in it....every time Tanya came she looked pale and worried..within a couple of days her cheeks were rosy and her eyes sparkling. It was also at this time that I was introduced to a woman who was a foster parent. Hubby and I decided that if we could help other kids like Tanya then maybe we should become a foster parent.....and we did. That started a stretch of 19 years of fostering approximately 25 kids....some just for a few weeks...some for years.....I learned that there were all different kinds of mothers out there....some to be admired and some gave you nightmares .....some were only thinking of themselves, never putting their childrens' needs before their own....spending their welfare cheques on everything but their children. It opened up our eyes to a whole different world out there.

If you've read my blog at all in the past then you already know that we adopted 7 of the 25 that came through the front door. Every child was a different circumstance....two were new born, one had been in 4 other foster homes before he came to us...and he was 2-1/2 years old! One was almost 4 and another was abandoned at age 3.....one turned 7 the day before she came and one came on her 10th birthday.....we never went into fostering with the idea of adopting....but it does get into the back of your mind when you see these little kids , and they become part of your home, your family...your heart....

It doesn't matter what we do...or they do...or don't do....they are still your kids....you're still their mom.....whether they keep in touch with you all the time....every once in awhile or only in emergency (like when the hospital calls in the middle of the night saying your kid is there). The other night we had a horrible night with Emma.....verbal and physical abuse...no, not from us, from her ..to us....later after she was in bed, I went into speak to her...as I was leaving her, I stroked the side of her face...wondering what happened to that little girl that came when she was just seven, wondering what her future would hold for her.....

I came out of the room and one of the other kids said to me....why...why did you do that...after what she did.....I said ...what, do what....she said....talk to her and stroke the side of her face.....

......because...no matter what she does...I'm still her mother...she's still my daughter....just like the others....no matter what they do....

You start this mothering journey all wide eye and innocent...never dreaming that the hard days will be so hard....that the hurt sometimes will be more than you can bear....you just see this tiny baby...this little child....they burrow into your heart and never leave....it doesn't matter whether you personally gave birth to them or some other woman did....

I've been a mom for thirty-seven years....yes, I've done other things....a statistical typist, invigilator, Creative Circle demonstrator(needlework), a Sunday school teacher and director..a VBS director for 10 years, a foster parent, a babysitter, a fundraiser, ...many positions and some I know i've forgotten ....but I'll never stop being a mom...even though there are days when I don't want to be...when I want to run away from home and if I hear 'mom' called one more time ( especially through the bathroom door) I'll scream.....
.......it's the position you never walk away from, you never get a day off from....that you never stop being.....a mom....plain and simple.



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It's Been Awhile......

Since I have posted anything....life has been unbelievingly exhausting the last few weeks.....but let me share with you something so beautiful, so wonderful.....it just brightens your whole day and makes you forget all the yuckies that you encounter just too many times in one day.....this is Samuel's very first genuine smile....


Isn't it wonderful?.....Doesn't it just make you smile yourself?

Those are the special moments that you just have to hold onto....when the world around you is just crashing...and no one has any answers....you just have to look at little Samuel and just breathe....

Some other things...our eldest daughter and her husband have sold their house and hopefully in the next few weeks they'll be able the break ground on their new house!

Number two....the quilting group at our church, a group that I'm proud to say I am part of....we held a fundraiser ..a fundraiser to help our grandson get enough money to help pay for some very special therapy that will hopefully help with his speech therapy...we raised just over $5000!!!

Number three...my grandson, the same one featured in the last paragraph has made a video for a Kraft peanut butter contest. The winner wins $10,000!!!! If they had won my daughter had wanted to use the winnings to help her son (my grandson) to get the therapy he needs...but since our fundraiser was able to do that and my grandson has enough for his special therapy, my daughter decided that another little girl named Esme....who really needs some very expensive therapy for autism could really benefit from having this prize money to pay for her therapy...it costs a lot of money but it's really good...I think it's thru the Sonrise Foundation....anyways, you can go on the website and vote for my grandson's video...it's called Nightraider.....please do that...you can vote everyday...please help Esme to get her special therapy.....the link is www.kraftpeanutbutter.com/en/contest/gallery/107/
...."please vote EVERYDAY..".we need Jairus' video...Nightraider to win...it only takes a few moments each day...and even if you have multiple computers, iPad or blackberry/iPhone...you can vote several times by going on each electronic...please help a little girl with autism...she's also legally blind and suffers from seizures.


Number four...daughter Maya got a job...up here in Canada there is a well known donut coffee shop called Tim Horton's...she got a job there...she has her very first shift tomorrow! This mama is very happy about it all!

These good things are the things to try and focus on...they kind of help when you think about the frustrating battles with Emma....

...the fact that she comes home smelling high and of cigarettes...
...the fact that she starts a co-op job from school but only shows up to it 2 out of 6 days....they let her go
....the fact that she went to school one morning and we didn't see her til the next morning...at school...when I went to talk to her...to see if she was still alive....
....the fact that I had to finally say to her that we were done...that her dad and I couldn't do this anymore....(either can her sisters and brother who are still at home)
....the fact that I told her that if she wanted to obey the rules of the house that she could come home
....the fact that after we finally thot we were done, we really weren't...when the police call you in the middle of the night to ask if they can bring her home...

....the fact that she's still coming home after curfew but is now telling us lie after lie to try and convince us that she had a legitimate reason for being late...

......the fact that we've been parents for 37 years and we've heard all the lies and we believe none of them

....the fact that one Saturday night..when we weren't wondering about Emma that we get a call...our son who is an alcoholic..got in a fight and was at the hospital with is face slashed....another midnight run to the hospital....


So......scroll back up to the top..take a good long look at that smile...isn't that the most wonderful smile you've ever seen....




Please vote for Nightraider.....every day...please....help Esme....you don't have to give money...just a click...everyday til the contest is done...please.