Tucker, the black beast....

This is the beast that put the icing on the birthday cake that I didn't have yesterday! Yes, that's his water/food bowl in his mouth.....the 'experts' said that if dogs have metal bowls that they don't like the 'feel' of it in their mouths so they wont carry them around.....somebody forgot to tell my dog! So, back to how he finished off my birthday yesterday...well....

let's go back to the beginning ....it was a day not unlike any other day in my life....the trouble with that is...it was my birthday...now, at my age you usually don't expect too much cause you've learned over the years that if you hope for something, anything different, you'll usually be disappointed...I know, I know..sounds kind of cynical...but....true!

Well yesterday was no exception......there were a couple of nice points ...cards and gifts...second oldest daughter had a day off so agreed to stay with Megan so I could go and meet hubby for lunch...trouble is during the morning I started to feel a little unwell....tried to ignore it and went and met hubby anyways, after having some Pepto....then during lunch, really started feeling worse. So,...hurried and finished and drove quickly back home. Spent the rest of the afternoon resting. By the time that birthday supper came around...well, all I had was some soup....the kids were disappointed..they know their dad usually springs for Chinese food on my birthday. My hubby decided that he wouldn't get a birthday cake that day...that he'd wait til Sunday when the grandkids were here........by that time my mood was lower than snakes belly so I agreed.

Then hubby and three kids deserted the area for the evening and hubby was going to stop at my sister's house on his way home because once a week we are suppose to water her plants while she's enjoying sunny Florida. When hubby returns he says...'I didn't stop, do you want to go over with me'.....I said 'sure, why not'....I grabbed my jacket but left my purse on the floor in the livingroom. Well, when we returned...some of my credit cards were on the floor....some had puncture holes in them....looking further I found the remains of the lovely soft leather billfold that I kept all my plastic cards in....without the soft leather!!!!! All gone, completely gone....no trace....the lovely leather is now in the stomach of that black beast in the picture.....I almost cried....a perfect ending to the day......I went to bed.

His name is Tucker....and if you see this black beast running around your neighborhood, with his metal dish (that he's not suppose to like) in his mouth....then don't naturally assume that he's escaped.....he just might have had a little help.......

A Friend indeed...

Yesterday was a no good, terrible, horrible day....you know those kind that 'you think that it couldn't get any worse....but it does'........
I've been dealing, well not really dealing...as my body will attest to.......let's say,..being lambasted by stress from every corner of my life for the last few weeks....or months.....my husband insisted that I get myself back to the chiropractor yesterday because the pain in my neck going up into my head was so severe that I couldn't lift my head off the pillow without aid.

Before I could get out the door, Ben's teacher called. Now, you may remember Ben's story a couple of posts ago. Ben's class is going bowling this week....every month they go bowling.....and Ben feels that it's his right to go. Well, in light of his aggression with his sisters the other Saturday, I've been curtailing his extra activities....they're privileges..which he made the choice to lose for awhile. Well, teacher wants to know why this should be impacting school stuff since this is a home restriction. I try to explain that in Ben's mind there is no separation and I have to take every opportunity to get through to his damaged brain that what he did was very wrong.

Teacher was supportive but wasn't getting it really...so, stupid me...opened my big mouth and told her exactly what he did to his sisters...then she fully understood and everything was fine.

Until I got a call from hubby as I was leaving the chiropractor....the chiropractor who had just given me an expensivethatwecan'tafford adjustment plus some homeopathic little pills to help with the nerve pain caused by the stress!!!!!!!!! When your hubby asks if you're in a public place and he's got a strain to his voice, you kind of know that he's not about to whisper sweet nothings in your ear! Apparently, Ben's teacher called him, since she couldn't get me....she had been giving a lot of thought to what her and I had chatted about and in talking to the vice principal they decided that they should inform the Childrens Aid Society !!!!!

To say that I was 'blown away' was an understatement! As I was driving I put a call into the CAS to talk to our adoption worker. She's been in charge of our last four adoptions and knows our family really well....she's become more of a friend then a social worker to me.....halfway home, I decided to stop at the 'Agency' and talk to her...thankfully she was in.
We talked for almost an hour. She told me that Ben was too old for them to remove him from the home but that the worst case scenario was that he could be reported to the police and charged with assault! That would be like charging a 6 year old! My friend said that she would go to the 'intake' department and talk with the worker on call and explain the situation for when the call came in.
I left there with anxiety in my heart....wondering what the outcome of the day would be ....wishing my hubby was there to hold me.....
Later, in the afternoon, the teacher called and told me that they had called CAS, and they had called her back and told her that the parents had things under control and that they would just be offering any services that they could...although my friend and I determined that there weren't any.

Then my friend called me...she said 'all was clear, not to worry, everything would be alright'...well, as far as CAS was concerned. Never as far as Ben is concerned.

Yesterday morning I was feeling quite down and in despair and I asked the Lord to give me a friend that I could talk to.......my sister is in Florida for several weeks, I couldn't talk to her...I tried to look up on the Internet to see when another friend was working,..she works at the library at a town about 45 minutes away...couldn't find the times.......I tried calling another friend who lives a couple of hours away...but just got her machine......
.... but after I left the agency and I was sitting at home with a cup of tea and resting....I realized that the Lord had indeed given me a friend yesterday....just when I needed her (anyone that deals with these kinds of children agencies knows how difficult it is to get to talk to a worker when you need one)......this friend listened to me talk for an hour, she helped me, she encouraged me and before we parted she gave me a big hug.

As I sat there, remunerating about the whole afternoon...I realized that God had indeed sent me a friend. Pretty neat eh?

Donovan

Here he is....I finally got daughter Lauren to send me his picture....This is Donovan....he was 4 years old last Sunday.

I think I have just the cutest grandchildren....of course, I'm not partial or anything!

Birthday Weekend!

Well, this weekend was just full of birthdays! On Saturday, our Emma turned 15 years old. Tomorrow, on the tenth, it will be eight years since she came to live with us and we adopted her. It's been quite a ride! Emma has a lot of allergies and asthma...I'd never encountered asthma before, in all the years that we fostered...it was a little scary at first...#1 because I really didn't know what it was and what kind of damage was going on when she had difficulty breathing and #2...going into a panic attack when we would go away to someone's house or to our trailer and the inhaler was left at home! She also has a lot of allergies and new ones seem to crop up all the time...one day I got an urgent call from my husband because the highschool called him ...Emma had an allergic reaction to some food she had eaten that wasn't on the list of the things she had been tested for...by the time hubby got to the school, the ambulance was transporting her to the hospital! She was okay but it did give us a little pause for concern. About four years ago, Emma started to have some difficulties with a persistent cough. After a trip to the doctor, a virus (you know, what doctor's usually say when they don't know what to say). A few weeks later, another doctor visit..this time they said it was bronchitis...a few weeks later they said the cough was pneumonia! For the next 9 months they said she had pneumonia 4 times! Finally, another doctor....this was at least 5 different doctors later...said she needed a cat scan....a month later they were removing 2/3 of her right lung along with a rare benign tumour! Nine Months People!!!!!!!

So, Emma is fine physically...goes for regular annual check ups...the surgeon doesn't have any idea how she got the tumour so they monitor it to make sure it's not coming back. So, that's Emma......

The other birthday is for my grandson that I don't have a picture of yet...that sounds a little weird I know and as soon as I get a picture I'll post it cause he is a cutie. The reason I don't have many pictures is because we don't see him very often, and the pictures I have were taken with my non digital camera...our second oldest son and his girlfriend had a little boy four years ago today...his name is Donovan. My son and Donovan's mom are no longer together but usually every other Sunday our son has visits with Donovan at our house. Last Sunday we had a birthday cake for Donovan and tonight hubby and I were able to go to Donovan's other grandparents house to give him his birthday gift. I hummed and hawed at the store trying to get him a toy that he didn't already have ...I chose a Tonka tow truck with sounds and flashing lights.....he loved it! I was so pleased.

In a couple of weeks my oldest son will celebrate his 32nd birthday! When my oldest kids were younger, my side of the family used to get together to celebrate the November birthdays....between the ones in our house and and nieces and a brother.....there was at least six! November was a very expensive month! Well, now everyone has gone and grown up and we don't have those big get togethers anymore, which is too bad, in a way...it's always nice when family members can get together and celebrate a good thing!

Ben

The young man with the baseball glove is our son Ben. He was thrilled when this picture was taken because he was sitting in the Blue Jay's baseball team's dugout. The Blue Jays are Ben's absolute favourite sports team.

Ben came to live with us when he was three years old....his older brother and his younger sister already lived with us as foster children. We knew that Ben had some delays...developmentally and verbally, but we didn't know and nobody could tell us what effect this would have on his development growing up. Over the last fifteen years, Ben's body has grown but his mind has not. Ben will be 18 next March but developmentally he'll be always be six years old. Although he was always tiny in stature in the last few years he's grown to 5'8"...much taller than we ever thought he'd get..and because we believe that he does have some effects of Fetal Alcohol , he is extremely strong.

People that know Ben think that he is very sweet and gentle...but unfortunately Ben has another side.....if you cross him he reacts with a rage that is becoming alarming. Ben has been seeing an anger management therapist since the summer....so far, it's not helping and I'm not sure it ever will. When Ben is crossed he reacts like any kindergarten kid when he gets his tower of blocks knocked over.....he physically attacks,...but because he's the size of a grown man, because he has unbelievable strength, things have changed in our house.

Last Saturday, when my hubby and I went out to get some groceries, one of our daughters crossed Ben...he reacted....he pulled them to the ground, he punched them, he tried to strangle them....they were very scared. I say them because when one sister tried to aid the other then he also turned on her.

Now, we can no longer leave our son at home without an adult present....if I go out, he has to go along. If, both hubby and I go out, then Ben has to go elsewhere...to someone else's house...where my daughters will be safe....where Ben will be safe, because Ben doesn't know how to keep his environment safe.....safe from him losing control and one day really, really hurting someone..........really hurt.

They didn't tell us that it would be like this.

Dorothy and the happy elephant and the sad lion....

Well, everyone has posted pics of the kids in their costumes, so I decided to join the ranks...not that I'm a big halloween fan.....but...don't they just look the cutest! Jairus, the sad lion.....

Verity, the happy elephant.....

Dorothy, from Oz.....in reality, Honour with her little sister Afton.

There they are....all ready to go out and get some loot!

Youngest grandbaby....

This is cutie baby Afton. She will be 6 months old on November 6th......and she has cut her very first tooth !!!!!...her mom just discovered it yesterday....

.....and just look at those long eyelashes......can you see her charming some poor unsuspecting soul with those in a few years?

oh my....